Idiots Are Winning...

The Celebration of Idiocy…

It’s absolutely amazing how much our society celebrates its idiots. We have Jessica Simpson thinking tuna is chicken. We have rich, snobby heirs to enormous fortunes getting their own TV show so that they can say things like, “My daddy invented cargo pants… and everyone just copied off of him.” It’s amazing that people that are rich and retarded can get a public forum to enlighten the world with their minds. I remember watching the Real World on MTV, back in the day when reality television was a novelty. As much as those kids weren’t the sharpest tools in their little sheds, they weren’t nearly as retarded as some of the people we see on TV nowadays.

Just because America laughed at America’s Funniest Home Videos and just because Survivor was a cool show in its first season with its awesome motto: “Outwit, Outplay, and Outlast” and some pretty interesting characters doesn’t mean that reality television makes good TV all the time. In fact, some of the morons on the boob tube today couldn’t even outwit, outplay, or outlast my belly button lint. It’s sad that these are the people that are representative of and celebrated in our society. What has the United States come to?

“Mmmm… Tastes Like Grandma…”

Ralph Wiggum said that… and speaking of things that seem bizarrely off-kilter today… recently someone turned the Tomacco plant, as seen on The Simpsons, into reality. Evidently the leaves of the plant are tobacco-like and the actual fruit itself is a tomato with nicotine in it. It’s always somewhat neat to see fictional stuff on TV and then have it prove to be reality several years later. This is especially the case with science fiction shows like Star Trek and how their communication devices have somehow turned into today’s flip cell phones.

Unfortunately, people seem to want to take the more useless of things to make them reality. What the hell would we do with a freakin’ Tomacco plant? It contains enough nicotine to kill anyone who eats it. Children are starving, people are poor, diseases are rampant… and this guy makes a freakin’ Tomacco plant. I’m half-surprised he’s not a UIC administrator… their abilities to prioritize seem to be very similar. Or maybe we should just drop Tomaccos onto the people of Iraq. That’d give Tomacco a purpose… and I think I just solved the problem of overpopulation and world hunger.

It’s Really Not That Hard…

Why can’t people flush a toilet? What is so difficult about just pushing the little thingie on the back of the toilet to make your excrement go away? I seem to have really shitty luck (pun intended) when it comes to going to public restrooms. I never fail to always walk into the stall with an ungodly amount of urine or feces sitting in the bowl staring at me.

What are people thinking? Do they think if they just walk away, the pee and poo just disappear? They obviously don’t grow legs and walk away! THEY STAY THERE! I mean, do you just leave shit and piss in your own toilet at home? Have the common courtesy to just flush it. You might as well have just shat on the floor outside the bathroom.