First off, I hope everyone had an outstanding Thanksgiving filled with fun and family. I love the holiday season; it generally gives me that warm and fuzzy feeling. But then I turn on the television and see frantic shoppers or as I call them the REAL Desperate Housewives beating the crap out of each other to get into stores so that they can begin their shopping before anyone else can. It's at this point where I realize that the warm and fuzzy feeling is merely a mixture of heartburn and gas, because it's definitely not goodwill towards my fellow man.

It's utterly ridiculous how everyone kicks off the annual holiday festivities with fine dining with friends and family and then promptly rushes off to the nearest mall for a brawl over some pathetic little thingamabob to call a gift. True, there's no Cabbage Patch Kid, Furby, or Tickle-Me Elmo this year, but that doesn't mean that people aren't any less vicious. People are getting shot over PS3s and even in my own personal experiences I've once dropped by the nearest Walmart to pick up some batteries and while there I was subjected to pushing, shoving, and some retard with a shopping cart kept ramming me in my heels. What the hell was their problem? Ramming me isn't going to make the Chia Pet they were buying their kid a better gift. So let this be a warning to all of you as the Holiday Shopping Mayhem slowly reaches its full might. Please for the love of all things holy, play nicely. Nothing amuses a person like me more than to see grown adults fighting over something that's going to be sold on Ebay for half the price 3 months later. Hell, it's people like you that makes me enjoy shopping online. You go fight over the last Furby Patch Tickle-Me Pokemon 3… I'll just point, click, and wait for the UPS guy. Peace.

We Live in an F'ed Up World...

It's days like these that I wish I still had a weekly newspaper column where I can bitch about the stupidity in our lives... 'cause quite frankly, someone needs to. :)

First off: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20061110/ap_on_fe_st/burrito_or_sandwich_2

This is what America's legal system spends time doing. I didn't realize that there even was a burrito/sandwich debate. Seriously, with all the craziness in the world... a judge had time to declare that a burrito is not a sandwich. Well, no shit. If a burrito was a sandwich... it'd be freakin' CALLED A SANDWICH!

An excerpt from the article: "Superior Court Judge Jeffrey Locke cited Webster's Dictionary as well as testimony from a chef and a former high-ranking federal agriculture official in ruling that Qdoba's burritos and other offerings are not sandwiches."

Thank you, idiots for bringing up a judicial case that was solved by CITING A DICTIONARY! Speaking of idiots, WTF is up with OJ Simpson and his "If I DID murder my wife..."? I suppose if I wrote a book, "If I only I remembered where I buried Jimmy Hoffa..." I would make money too. Oh wait... I had nothing to do with Jimmy Hoffa. Hmmm... The legal system can declare a burrito is not a sandwich... but somehow, OJ Simpson can run free? Seriously now... the only other thing that can be THIS obvious is declaring that dogs are not cats. Maybe I should research this before I say it... 'cause there just might be a legal precedent for that one... I'll get back to you on that.

Now that we're on the topic of crimes and such... someone got SHOT because of a Playstation 3. Why the hell is this society so damned violent? Case in point... we've all seen footage of REAL desperate housewives trying to buy their kids a Cabbage Patch Kid or a Tickle Me Elmo.

I don't think it's the video games themselves that are teaching kids violence. It's the way society works. It's supply and demand. The demand is high... the supply is low... and everyone needs to be cool. Get all three of those factors in there... and someone gets shot. It's not that kids don't realize that violence is real 'cause they've been brainwashed by video games... it's because they realize the profitablity and the coolness of being the first ones to get a PS3 and then they seriously bank by selling it for an obscene markup on EBay or something. Kids know what's up. Sometimes I think a little more than adults do. Not that I'm justifying someone getting shot trying to get the new hottest toy on the market... it's just the direction that society is moving towards and an escalation of previous insanity.

We're becoming a society that is so dependent on a court system telling us what's right and what's wrong. If I burn myself on McDonald's coffee or fall off a Burger King toilet... I'm just embarassed as hell that it happened. But that's not everyone. There are people out there that sense profit and lawsuits ensue... and this is getting ridiculous. I'd be embarassed to even be seen arguing whether a burrito is a sandwich much less put my name to a lawsuit. But people don't get embarassed. They just want fame and fortune to the detriment of dignity and humanity. OJ Simpson... shut the hell up. You got away with murder... leave it be. Don't try to profit off of your original entirely-too-many-minutes slow-ass chase in a white Bronco claim to fame. And people trying to sell PS3s for thousands of dollars on EBay... (Don't believe me? Go see for yourself!) I hope no one buys 'em. They're first generation machines that probably have bugs in them anyways. I can't believe people are getting shot for toys. Or that people are going to be beat up shopping for Christmas. I suppose it's the new spirit of the season. We live in a completely messed up world...