More news stories that made me go WTF?!?

Okay... before I start my weekly tirade against the ever increasing mounds of bovine excrement that permeates our lives... I want to give a shout out to the RevSpitz that responded to my last rant. HILARIOUS! I haven't gotten a response like that since college! To those of you that have followed me since then, you know what I mean... and to those that are new to the "What's YOUR Deal?!?" experience, I would regularly get angry (and mostly nonsensical) responses to the editorials that I wrote. At one point, I think someone tried to blame me for the 9/11 attacks. Seriously! But anyways, I would like to give RevSpitz the "What's YOUR Deal?!?" idiot of the month award... for vainly trying to fight me on my home turf of common sense and for providing a very salient example of everything I was ranting about last week. Kudos, my friend. However, if I were you... I would cut down on the pictures of dead babies... I find that you get more positive responses when you put up pictures of cute things... like kittens: On a more personal note, said kitten is rather freaked out about me packing to move. He's looking at me like, "WTF?" and then with a more pitiful gaze of, "Don't leave me!" as he jumps into boxes and suitcases as I'm packing. But despite the overwhelmingness of it all, there are definitely things that deserve mockery over the past week. Let's begin... President Barack Obama's Address to Congress was earlier this week and did anyone else find it ridiculously odd that people just sporadically burst into applause? Seriously? Should I be randomly taking abrupt pauses in my speech waiting for you folks to start clapping? *waiting* *waiting* *waiting* Done? Okay... good. But the true WTF moment of the night revolved around Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal response to the Obama address. Unfortunately, I was on alert when the speech was given and I didn't get a chance to be more timely in my response. However, I, like many other people in the interweb land, including my friend Abby felt that Gov. Jindal, bears a striking resemblance to Kenneth the Page from NBC's 30 Rock. Exhibit A: Exhibit B: But... with that aside, as well as this humorous take from MSNBC's Rachel Maddow: I offer you... BizarrObama from my cousin Monica: http://shadowofsputnik.blogspot.com Pretty funny stuff. I wish I came up with it myself. Anyways... next WTF moment of the week... Octopussy. No, I'm not talking about the James Bond movie. I'm talking about Nadya Suleman. Who? Octopussy... the woman who shot eight babies out of her birth canal in one sitting? Oh, now you get it. And no, it's not vulgar. Afterall... Octopussy WAS the name of a Bond movie. Go take it up with Hollywood. Why am I talking about Octopussy? Besides the fact that I get to write Octopussy repeatedly in this paragraph? I offer you this article: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2009/02/25/2009-02-25_octuplet_mom_nadya_suleman_fears_hospita.html There are SEVERAL things in that article that made me want to scream... First: "The 33-year-old unemployed mother of 14 depended on food stamps and disability to care for her six children even born before she became known as Octomom. She's been living with her half-dozen kids in her mother's three-bedroom home in suburban Los Angeles, but the house is under threat of foreclosure." What's YOUR Deal, woman!?! I think I will steal Rachel Maddow's response here... Ba... ba... bah... bahbahbah? That is such irresponsible motherhood! STOP HAVING CHILDREN WHEN YOU CAN'T AFFORD THEM! I can't even imagine the thought process... "Gee... I can barely support myself and my litter of children... hmmm... let's go to a fertility doctor and have MORE kids." It's not like she ACCIDENTALLY got pregnant having unprotected sex... this woman made a CONSCIOUS decision to have MORE children. Un... freakin'... believable. Not to mention the utter irresponsbility of the doctor that let her do that. Hippocratic Oath anyone? Do no harm? Guess not... Maybe I should find where that guy went to medical school... maybe he or one of his classmates will prescribe me some Oxycontin or something for no reason except for the fact that I want drugs. But... THE ABSOLUTE HIGHLIGHT of this article is this: "A major porn company has offered octuplet mom Nadya Suleman $1 million to star in a skin flick. Vivid Entertainment is even willing to sweeten the deal by giving Suleman's massive family full medical and dental insurance if she agrees to get naughty in multiple videos, TMZ.com reported. 'Your movie would be distributed under our Vivid-Celeb imprint, which has released titles starring such personalities as Pamela Anderson, Kim Kardashian, and most recently, former Miss USA Kelli McCarty,' Vivid Entertainment Chairman Steven Hirsch wrote in a letter to Suleman." AHHHHHHH!!! Octopussy coming to a computer screen near you!!!! There are two ways to take this news... (get your minds out of the gutter!)... (1) If she accepts the offer... I suppose she's finally be financially responsible enough to CARE for her litter of children... however... I don't want to fathom Octopussy Porn... And (2) if she doesn't accept this offer... it'd be the first smart thing she's probably EVER done. Now that I've sufficiently traumatized you... For more outrage: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap_travel/20090227/ap_tr_ge/eu_travel_brief_ireland_ryanair_pay_toilets It's well-documented how much I HATE the airline industry with a passion... but this... this... is ridiculously retarded. I know, you all are probably thinking, "No way... this is dumb!" But remember when airlines started charging for checked luggage? It started with one airline... We all thought the same thing... there's no way! Fast forward to today... people are bringing absurd amounts of carry-on luggage onto the plane to avoid paying to check a bag. When will this idiocy stop? Here's Mad TV's take on it: I will pee on RyanAir's seats before I will pay to use an airplane toilets. The fight against stupid continues... and stupid appears to be winning.

Special Update: News That Make You Go Hmmm....

I've come to realize that the news is a phenomenon of being a constant 24-hour feed for people with no attention span because every few seconds a new stream of information comes tickering past the bottom of your screen... that the truly huge WTF moments are completely lost amongst the filler. Although, I suppose that people that read the ticker on the bottom of the screen can legitimately say that they read the news. *sigh* Anyways... 3 things that have made me go, "Hmmm..." and surprisingly... Rod Blagojevich is not among them (mainly because I have reached a media saturation point for that particular story.) ***** Number 3: Sasha and Malia Obama Beanie Babies. One question: Why? I can understand turning the president into some action figure or something... go ahead, Google the words "President" and "Action Figure" the first two links that pop up are the Former-President George W. Bush in flight gear and Former-President Bill Clinton in a blue business suit available for purchase. (Although I find it ironic that the iconic images to be preserved for posterity in plastic is a GI Joe-esque figure and another that is advertised as a "Talking Action Figure.") Go figure. Anyways... those are little kids that some company is profiting off of. My friend Abby posted this on her blog: http://www.paradoxdaily.com/2009/01/arianna-huffington-saves-day.html It's a pretty interesting read. So... what's the What's YOUR Deal?!? take on something that has already been covered? Two questions: Why wasn't Chelsea Clinton made into some doll? Or perhaps the Bush Twins... Although... I do suppose they bear a slight resemblance to those latex blow-up dolls... (Too soon? Sorry.) ***** Number 2: Why Are Human Beings Having LITTERS of Children? Yes, I said LITTERS. OCTUPLETS?!? Seriously? And the woman that just had them already has SIX CHILDREN. This is an interesting article to read from the Brits: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article5618449.ece This part of the article made me Scooby Doo-ify and go, "Rooooo?" with my head tilted: "However, most practitioners - while confirming that guidance tells them not to implant multiple embryos - acknowledge the choice is not ultimately theirs to make and rests solely with the mother. 'Who am I to say that six is the limit?' Dr Jeffrey Steinberg, medical director of Fertility Institutes, which has clinics in Los Angeles, Las Vegas and New York City, told the Associated Press news agency. 'There are people who like to have big families.' Dr James Grifo, professor of obstetrics and gynaecology at the New York University School of Medicine, added: 'I don’t think it's our job to tell them how many babies they’re allowed to have. I am not a policeman for reproduction in the United States. My role is to educate patients.'" So... with all the crap I've been giving the American Life League and the other EXTREMISTS in the Pro-Life/Anti-Choice movement... (I have to make that distinction because Pro-Life folks are cool... I think most of us are Pro-Life... it's the Anti-Choice part that's the incredibly stupid argument) the right CHOOSE pops up again!!! Anyways, why is the right to choose a GREAT thing when someone chooses to give birth to baseball team (minus one)? Or be able to have an entire NBA roster with one's offspring? That concept boggles my mind. So... Dr James Girfo... I salute you... "I am not a policeman for reproduction in the United States. My role is to educate patients." Ah... education... what a wonderful thing.... (SARCASM ALERT: But of course only when you're educated on just one slice of the opinion pie... and rest of it is SINFUL AND POISONED...) ***** Number 1: The Chinese Are Champions of RIGHTS?!? Well... maybe not HUMAN rights... but this story made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. What can I say? I'm a sucker for cute animals. http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2176812.ece#cid=OTC-RSS&attr=gay Gotta love the Brits... In case the link doesn't work, here's the article in its entirety: Gay penguin pair tie the knot By STAFF REPORTER Published: 27 Jan 2009 A PAIR of GAY penguins are so loved-up they have been given a WEDDING service. The besotted male birds turned out to be such a great parenting pair their keepers thought they deserved a reward and let them marry. They were once given the cold shoulder at the wildlife park in China for stealing heterosexual couples' eggs to nest as their own. But after being allowed to try out with eggs rejected by their mothers the couple have become the zoo's best penguin parents. Now keepers at Polarland Zoo in Harbin, north east China, have rewarded their devotion with a wedding day. One wore a tie and the other was dressed in a red blouse – a traditional Chinese bridal colour – as they stepped into their icy wedding room to the music of the Wedding March. Keepers then served them their favourite dish for the occasion – spring fish. "They have been a good couple and deserved their reward," said one keeper. ****** With all the drama regarding gay rights in the United States and the controversy of California's Proposition 8, which eliminated the previously existing right in that state for same-sex couples to marry, the CHINESE?!? PENGUINS?!? REALLY?!? Wow. (SARCASM ALERT: But before social liberals rejoice in this teeny tiny step towards equality in the animal kingdom, we must be prepared for the potential fall of penguin society and the possible extinction of the penguin race.) Do you think penguins can exist in the warmth of Hell? But seriously though, if the Chinese can open up their human rights trampling Commie hearts up to two adorable penguins in love... why can't everyone else?