More news stories that made me go WTF?!?

Okay... before I start my weekly tirade against the ever increasing mounds of bovine excrement that permeates our lives... I want to give a shout out to the RevSpitz that responded to my last rant. HILARIOUS! I haven't gotten a response like that since college! To those of you that have followed me since then, you know what I mean... and to those that are new to the "What's YOUR Deal?!?" experience, I would regularly get angry (and mostly nonsensical) responses to the editorials that I wrote. At one point, I think someone tried to blame me for the 9/11 attacks. Seriously! But anyways, I would like to give RevSpitz the "What's YOUR Deal?!?" idiot of the month award... for vainly trying to fight me on my home turf of common sense and for providing a very salient example of everything I was ranting about last week. Kudos, my friend. However, if I were you... I would cut down on the pictures of dead babies... I find that you get more positive responses when you put up pictures of cute things... like kittens: On a more personal note, said kitten is rather freaked out about me packing to move. He's looking at me like, "WTF?" and then with a more pitiful gaze of, "Don't leave me!" as he jumps into boxes and suitcases as I'm packing. But despite the overwhelmingness of it all, there are definitely things that deserve mockery over the past week. Let's begin... President Barack Obama's Address to Congress was earlier this week and did anyone else find it ridiculously odd that people just sporadically burst into applause? Seriously? Should I be randomly taking abrupt pauses in my speech waiting for you folks to start clapping? *waiting* *waiting* *waiting* Done? Okay... good. But the true WTF moment of the night revolved around Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal response to the Obama address. Unfortunately, I was on alert when the speech was given and I didn't get a chance to be more timely in my response. However, I, like many other people in the interweb land, including my friend Abby felt that Gov. Jindal, bears a striking resemblance to Kenneth the Page from NBC's 30 Rock. Exhibit A: Exhibit B: But... with that aside, as well as this humorous take from MSNBC's Rachel Maddow: I offer you... BizarrObama from my cousin Monica: http://shadowofsputnik.blogspot.com Pretty funny stuff. I wish I came up with it myself. Anyways... next WTF moment of the week... Octopussy. No, I'm not talking about the James Bond movie. I'm talking about Nadya Suleman. Who? Octopussy... the woman who shot eight babies out of her birth canal in one sitting? Oh, now you get it. And no, it's not vulgar. Afterall... Octopussy WAS the name of a Bond movie. Go take it up with Hollywood. Why am I talking about Octopussy? Besides the fact that I get to write Octopussy repeatedly in this paragraph? I offer you this article: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2009/02/25/2009-02-25_octuplet_mom_nadya_suleman_fears_hospita.html There are SEVERAL things in that article that made me want to scream... First: "The 33-year-old unemployed mother of 14 depended on food stamps and disability to care for her six children even born before she became known as Octomom. She's been living with her half-dozen kids in her mother's three-bedroom home in suburban Los Angeles, but the house is under threat of foreclosure." What's YOUR Deal, woman!?! I think I will steal Rachel Maddow's response here... Ba... ba... bah... bahbahbah? That is such irresponsible motherhood! STOP HAVING CHILDREN WHEN YOU CAN'T AFFORD THEM! I can't even imagine the thought process... "Gee... I can barely support myself and my litter of children... hmmm... let's go to a fertility doctor and have MORE kids." It's not like she ACCIDENTALLY got pregnant having unprotected sex... this woman made a CONSCIOUS decision to have MORE children. Un... freakin'... believable. Not to mention the utter irresponsbility of the doctor that let her do that. Hippocratic Oath anyone? Do no harm? Guess not... Maybe I should find where that guy went to medical school... maybe he or one of his classmates will prescribe me some Oxycontin or something for no reason except for the fact that I want drugs. But... THE ABSOLUTE HIGHLIGHT of this article is this: "A major porn company has offered octuplet mom Nadya Suleman $1 million to star in a skin flick. Vivid Entertainment is even willing to sweeten the deal by giving Suleman's massive family full medical and dental insurance if she agrees to get naughty in multiple videos, TMZ.com reported. 'Your movie would be distributed under our Vivid-Celeb imprint, which has released titles starring such personalities as Pamela Anderson, Kim Kardashian, and most recently, former Miss USA Kelli McCarty,' Vivid Entertainment Chairman Steven Hirsch wrote in a letter to Suleman." AHHHHHHH!!! Octopussy coming to a computer screen near you!!!! There are two ways to take this news... (get your minds out of the gutter!)... (1) If she accepts the offer... I suppose she's finally be financially responsible enough to CARE for her litter of children... however... I don't want to fathom Octopussy Porn... And (2) if she doesn't accept this offer... it'd be the first smart thing she's probably EVER done. Now that I've sufficiently traumatized you... For more outrage: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap_travel/20090227/ap_tr_ge/eu_travel_brief_ireland_ryanair_pay_toilets It's well-documented how much I HATE the airline industry with a passion... but this... this... is ridiculously retarded. I know, you all are probably thinking, "No way... this is dumb!" But remember when airlines started charging for checked luggage? It started with one airline... We all thought the same thing... there's no way! Fast forward to today... people are bringing absurd amounts of carry-on luggage onto the plane to avoid paying to check a bag. When will this idiocy stop? Here's Mad TV's take on it: I will pee on RyanAir's seats before I will pay to use an airplane toilets. The fight against stupid continues... and stupid appears to be winning.

Special Update: DAMMIT, I WANT A PRO-ABORTION DONUT!!!

Actually, they're NOT pro-abortion donuts... but... doesn't the concept seem ABSURD to you? It sure does to me. This story broke last week and I ignored it because it's not worthy of repeating... however... recent updates to this situation has forced a special update to What's YOUR Deal?!?

Check this out: http://all.org/article.php?id=11754

In case the link doesn't work, here's the text:

► KRISPY KREME CELEBRATES OBAMA WITH PRO-ABORTION DOUGHNUTS
by Katie Walker
Released January 15, 2009

Washington, DC (15 January 2009) – The following is a statement from American Life League president, Judie Brown.

"The next time you stare down a conveyor belt of slow-moving, hot, sugary glazed donuts at your local Krispy Kreme you just might be supporting President-elect Barack Obama's radical support for abortion on demand – including his sweeping promise to sign the Freedom of Choice Act as soon as he steps in the Oval Office, Jan. 20.

The doughnut giant released the following statement yesterday:
Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. (NYSE: KKD) is honoring American's sense of pride and freedom of choice on Inauguration Day, by offering a free doughnut of choice to every customer on this historic day, Jan. 20. By doing so, participating Krispy Kreme stores nationwide are making an oath to tasty goodies -- just another reminder of how oh-so-sweet "free" can be.

Just an unfortunate choice of words? For the sake of our Wednesday morning doughnut runs, we hope so. The unfortunate reality of a post Roe v. Wade America is that "choice" is synonymous with abortion access and celebration of 'freedom of choice' is a tacit endorsement of abortion rights on demand.

President-elect Barack Obama promises to be the most virulently pro-abortion president in history. Millions more children will be endangered by his radical abortion agenda.

Celebrating his inauguration with "Freedom of Choice" doughnuts – only two days before the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision to decriminalize abortion – is not only extremely tacky, it's disrespectful and insensitive and makes a mockery of a national tragedy.

A misconstrued concept of "choice" has killed over 50 million preborn children since Jan. 22, 1973. Does Krispy Kreme really want their free doughnuts to celebrate this "freedom.""

As of Thursday morning, Communications Director Brian Little could not be reached for comment. We challenge Krispy Kreme doughnuts to reaffirm their commitment to true freedom – to the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness – and to separate themselves and their doughnuts from our great American shame."

American Life League was cofounded in 1979 by Judie Brown. It is the largest grassroots Catholic pro-life organization in the United States and is committed to the protection of all innocent human beings from the moment of creation to natural death.

For more information or press inquiries, please contact Katie Walker at 540.659.4942.

*******

ABORTION DONUTS? Seriously? The nation just CHOSE its new elected leader and Ms Judie Brown is calling them ABORTION DONUTS?!? Words cannot express my dismay. Oh and this doesn't help: http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2009/01/19/pro-life-1-krispy-kreme-0.aspx

Here's the full text:

MEDIA RELEASEFOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
18 January 2009
CONTACT: Katie Walker540.659.4942
kwalker@all.org
KRISPY KREME CORRECTS 'FREEDOM OF CHOICE' FAUX PAS
Washington, D.C. (18 January 2009) –

In light of a nationwide marketing trend to capitalize on the inauguration of President-elect Barack Obama, American Life League challenged Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. Thursday on the propriety of using the phrase "freedom of choice" in their corporate announcement regarding a free doughnut giveaway on Jan. 20 - Inauguration Day. Subsequently on Friday, Krispy Kreme updated the announcement. The following is a statement from Judie Brown, President of American Life League:

"We are grateful to Krispy Kreme executives who realized the inappropriate use of the phrase "freedom of choice" and have changed their announcement, available on their web site.

"Barack Obama is one of the most radical pro-abortion politicians ever elected president. Even though Obama claims he is not pro-abortion, but rather "pro-choice," his record speaks for itself. Obama received millions of dollars from the "freedom-of-choice" abortion industry because he swore that as one of his first acts as president, he would sign the Freedom of Choice Act, a legislative proposal that would wipe out a litany of incrementalist pro-life legislation with one stroke of his pen.

"The use of the phrase "freedom of choice" by any corporation, particularly when used to coincide with President-elect Obama's inauguration, is offensive and demeaning to the millions who have suffered either directly or indirectly through abortion. Abortion is a tragedy for everyone involved in it. Thus we felt obligated to issue our original statement and subsequently communicate with Krispy Kreme Inc.

"American Life League thanks Krispy Kreme for correcting their public statement. Their corporate decision was not only wise but will result, we are certain, with an increased number of customers not only on January 20th but for years to come."

American Life League was cofounded in 1979 by Judie Brown. It is the largest grassroots Catholic pro-life organization in the United States and is committed to the protection of all innocent human beings from the moment of creation to natural death. For more information or press inquiries, please contact Katie Walker at 540.659.4942.

*******

NO! NO! NO! YOU DO NOT CAVE TO IDIOCY! You do NOT legitimize stupidity by caving to their demands! I love Krispy Kreme donuts, they're amazingly good, but DAMMIT! A new president was chosen and it was through the freedom of elective choice that Barack Obama was elected the new President of the United States. How is this even remotely related to that wonderful tenderly soft donut? HOW DARE THE RADICAL RIGHT WING AGENDA HIJACK SUCH AN INNOCENT SUGARY TREAT?!?

"Abortion is a tragedy for everyone involved in it." NO! This senseless betrayal of logic and free speech by the American Life League and the spineless lack of sensibilities of Krispy Kreme to not stand their ground on this issue has hurt not only my soul but my sweet tooth.

Don't even get me started that the RIGHT TO CHOOSE is not the same as PRO-ABORTION. People who are PRO-ABORTION will just have arbitrary abortions because they think it's fun. The RIGHT TO CHOOSE is giving someone the option of choosing whether or not they can have an abortion. You can CHOOSE NOT TO. Sheesh.

Krispy Kreme celebrating the FREEDOM OF CHOICE is in no way even connected to abortions. I would like the freedom to choose between a tasty glazed donut or perhaps one with a jelly filling. I would like the freedom to choose between Barack Obama and John McCain. I would like the freedom to choose between calling the American Life League and yelling at them or just e-mailing them my outrage.

In fact, I think everyone needs to deluge the American Life League and ask, "What's YOUR Deal?!?" Go forth and fight for the rights of those poor defenseless donuts! Because I'm sure a pro-abortion donut can also be a sweet sweeeeet tasty treat. Mmmmm... donut.

EDITED TO ADD:
So... are the jelly ones extra abortiony?

There's hope for the world? NO WAY!

I know everyone here usually expects me to go on a tirade ranting and raving about the newest things that pisses me off... which is fine because that is actually the premise of What's YOUR Deal?!? In fact, the enormous number of responses to my last blog nearly brought a tear to my eye. Why? Because it makes me realize that people ARE reading the words that I type... and people ARE thinking about the things they are reading. Even if I stop the stupidization of just ONE person per week... I am doing the world an enormous favor. We look at the world today and realize that there is SO much that's completely and utterly jacked up... and people never really stop to think, "WTF mate? How did we get here?" People live their lives with blinders on... completely and utterly focused on their own selfish wants and needs and their own closed-minded ideologies. What's wrong with looking at someone you completely disagree with and listening to them without judgment? You just might learn something new. People don't like taking criticism. If you throw your opinions out into the public forum, expect people to tell you you're wrong. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. This is why I love writing my rants. Instead of letting these thoughts fester in my head and be wasted, I want to do my part to try to better the world one rant at a time. And I absolutely welcome all comers to try and knock me of this soapbox. I thank all of you.

Anyways, the topic for the week is hope. Just when it seems like I have given up hope for humanity, something happens that's totally unexpected and, quite frankly, surprising. All of you know my ongoing fist-shaking war against the airline industry... but this past week when US Airways flight 1549 crashed into the Hudson River in New York, I was floored by how it all went down. This one event gave me a very unexpected shove towards the edge of my soapbox.

For those not familiar with the story, Flight 1549 took off from LaGuardia in New York heading to Charlotte, NC and hit a flock of geese which essentially destroyed both of the Airbus A320's engines. Freaky scary? I think so. The pilot, former Air Force pilot, Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger managed to glide the plane, with it's 150 passengers and 5 crewmembers, away from populated areas and into the best possible place to crash a jetliner: the Hudson River. The only injury was a woman that had two broken legs. Heck, if I survived being in a plane falling from the sky? I'd be kosher with that. Although, here's my cynicism coming out again: I predict that woman (or perhaps any other passenger on that flight) will sue US Airways. Let's see if I'm right.

I digress. When the plane set down in the river... people came to the rescue. Little ferryboats came rushing to the crashed plane and started evacuating passengers. People disembarked that sinking plane with seeming more order than the rabid rush of idiocy that most other flights disembark. Wow. People weren't shirking their responsibilities as human beings to come to the rescue of those in need with stupid excuses like, "Oh, the plane is too far, someone else will do it," or "Oh that's not my job." Can you imagine what it would be like if the people at the scene were like that? You know, the retards that don't return their shopping carts or set good example for their kids... those "fucktards" that inhibit the forward progress of humanity? But no... this is why I'm surprised. That people will go out of their way in that scenario, but yet don't have the common decency to do the little things in life. This confuses me.

Because all I can think is... what if the plane was full of black people and those ferries were full of members of the KKK... would the same thing happen? Or what if the plane was full of gay people and the ferries had members of the Westboro Baptist Church? Or the plane was full of Bloods and the ferries full of Crips? Al-Qaeda and the Bush Administration? Israelis and Palestinians? Seriously. We can do the entire gamut of groups that hate each other. Would the same shining examples of humanitarian effort be seen? I'd like to think the answer is yes, but... I'm not so sure.

I really want to believe that what happened in the aftermath of Flight 1549 going down is the norm... but even if it isn't... it's really nice to see the goodness of humanity when it does happen in today's crazy mixed up world. Likewise, I see the same hope and inspiration coming on Tuesday when President-Elect Barack Obama is sworn into office. Optimism feels weird.

SIDENOTE: http://www.zazzle.com/docpoonie Check it out. If you like my blogs... show your support and spread the word. Do your part to save the economy one superfluous purchase at a time. :)