Christmas Rant

Yes, I'm calling a Christmas rant. Regardless of whether or not you believe in Christianity it shouldn't matter. Why? Because regardless of what you believe in... December 25th is CHRISTMAS. Just like how the last Thursday in November is Thanksgiving and how the 4th of July is Independence Day. And how late January, early February-ish is Chinese New Year. If you're not Chinese... there's no flippin' reason why you should be offended if the lunar calendar doesn't necessarily fall in line with the one we use. I celebrate your New Year's Day just as I celebrate Chinese New Year... all the more partying! So, you overly PC numbnuts, deal with it.
Anyways... it's not really the spirit of the season or even necessarily the religious aspect of the season that this rant is about... but the pure commercialism in the form of niceness. This is the season where gifts are exchanged. In theory, we also get the warm fuzzy feeling that comes from friends and family. Or at least a reasonable substitute in the form of gifts received.
What defines giftibility? At what point does a friend merit a Christmas gift? This is truly the question we must all answer. And even if you decide that a friend merits a gift... what should the cost of the gift be? Say for example, you give a gift to a friend and they didn't get you one... now they feel shitty. Or vice versa. Someone gave you a gift and you didn't have anything to give back. Now you look like the asshole.

Or... what if you both decide on gift giving and one person gives the other something really nice and other person got socks. Now, it could be very thoughtful socks... but socks might not compare to say... even a $20 gift certificate or maybe you have a very generous friend that got you a video game or something.

And there is no good solution to this. Feelings are bound to get hurt no matter what. Even if you tell a friend that you're going to get them socks, they're probably thinking to themselves one of two things: "FUCK, I have get something!" or "SHIT, is that what I'm worth? SOCKS?!?" The same applies if you plan on giving them an iPod or something, "Oh crap! All I got them was socks... dammit!" Or even if you tell someone you're getting them something... they might not have been planning to give you a gift at all.

You could stockpile some "Default" gifts to give to people that unexpectedly gave you a present. But then, they'll realize, "Wait a minute... everyone else got this too..."

This is what Christmas has turned into... a post-Thanksgiving free-for-all in malls and weeks of deliberation of what to give people and which people to give gifts to. Yes, yes... that's not what Christmas is really about... but YOU KNOW this is what you're thinking this time of year. You're a dirty stinkin' liar if you deny it!

The spirit of the season is goodwill towards humanity, but not all goodwill is created equal. That warm fuzzy feeling of the season might be one of embarassment and shame. This is what Christmas is truly about. That and people fighting in the malls over the last remnants of suitable presents the week before C-Day hits.

Maybe the Unabomber had it right... live as a hermit and mail people bombs... Saves Christmas headaches.

Happy Holidays everyone... and if you're gonna get me a gift... tell me and I'll get you one. If I got you a gift last year... chances are, I'm gonna get you one this year. And everyone else... you're getting a hug and maybe a possibly sincere compliment. Good luck!