Happy New Year!!!

My Country Tis of Thee…

America seems to be getting a bad rap of late. We’re being called bullies and warmongers. Allegedly we seem to stick our noses into the business of other nations where it “doesn’t belong.” On December 26th, 2003 a devastating earthquake struck the country of Iran, killing more than 30,000 people. The United States immediately sent humanitarian aid, medical personnel and equipment, as well as rescue and relief experts to Iran. Despite political differences, in President Bush labeling Iran as a member of the “Axis of Evil” and some Iranians calling the United States “The Great Satan,” America was there to help.

Even though that occurred, Iran still has shunned any more of our help. Regardless, the bottom line is clear: “The Great Satan” cares for the welfare of the global population, how very Satanic and evil of us, isn’t it? If we are truly bullies and warmongers, would we have reacted immediately to help Iran recover from such a natural disaster? How many nations rushed to help Americans when the World Trade Center collapsed? How many nations helped us with the California wildfires? How many times has America gone out of its way to help other nations when all we get in return is to be called Satanic? Unfortunately, it’s been too many times to count.

The United States does get involved in situations where we can just as easily ignore, that much is true. But if your home is destroyed by natural disaster and you have no means to recover, how would you like it if everyone just passed by you saying, “Ya know… I shouldn’t get involved… this is really none of my business.” You would hope for a Good Samaritan to come along and lend a hand. That’s what the United States of America is. We’re Good Samaritans in an age where many would just ignore a problem because it doesn’t concern them. Go ahead and tell the people who have benefited from American aid that we’re evil. We’re just about as evil as firefighters, police officers, and doctors.

Let Me Tell You About REAL Evil…

I was pulled over for a moving violation in late November and I’ve yet to get my driver’s license back from the city. I mailed my check in to pay the fee the day after, like a good little law abiding citizen would and I waited. A month passed and I’ve yet to hear back from the city. After searching their completely uninformative website for contact information for someone to call, I was finally able to get a phone number to call. I figure I needed to find out if they lost my payment and there’s a warrant out for my arrest or something. So I call them and I spent 45 minutes on the phone as they played pass the Poon around.

After finally reaching someone who seems to have drawn the shortest straw or something and HAD to talk to me, she shuffled some papers around and said, “Oh, here’s your citation.” I was tempted to ask her if she wanted to keep the citation under the pile and just mail me back my damned driver’s license. But no… they allegedly processed it that day and I’m supposed to get my driver’s license back within the week. Hmmm… my wallet is still devoid of my driver’s license… bastards.

Mmmm… Mad Cow…

I don’t know about you but I’m absolutely loving this Mad Cow Mania! Most people are freaked out by the newest disease of the month and I’m reaping the benefits. How so? Well, other countries are not allowing US beef to be imported into their country, resulting in a surplus of tasty cow meat stuck in the United States. What are these slabs of meat to do? They’ve got to be sold somehow otherwise the cattle industry will lose a hell of a lot of money. Therefore, CHEAP BEEF TO BE SOLD TO PEOPLE LIKE ME!

People are scared of yet another disease that a majority of us will most likely never get. It’s amazing how a mere mention of something happening can bring everyone to hysteria. Mad Cow is NOT that common. Most beef doesn’t contain anything from the cow’s nervous system. It’s the most ridiculously stupid thing. Let us all just sit back and enjoy the fact that we don’t have West Niles, we don’t have SARS, and we don’t have Mad Cow. Mmmm… cheap steak…. *drool*