Things I Don't Care About...

What's YOUR Deal?!? was originally created as a weekly editorial for the UIC Today, a now-defunct student-run newspaper for the University of Illinois at Chicago. I always knew that I wanted to write and I figured that bored people would need things to read in class, on their commute, or even in the bathroom. Apparently, I developed quite a following and the things I wrote that called out the idiotic behavior of those very people that read my column apparently was amusing to them. Who knew? Did I make a difference? Did people change their behavior for the better? I have no idea. I've been writing editorials since high school. So, for over a decade, I've ranted and raved about things that bother me, ranging from people leaving shopping carts in parking lots, burger misalignment, and the airline industry to more serious topics like politics, Don't Ask Don't Tell, Sarah Palin, and the ever ridiculous Westboro Baptist Church. It would appear that I care about a lot of things and that I get worked up about little things in life. While that may be true... this edition of What's YOUR Deal?!? is an incomplete listing of things that I do NOT care about. I say incomplete because, well... there may be things that I don't care about that didn't even pop into my brain, and I reserve the right to not care about it more in the future... Anyways, onward to the countdown!

5. Infomercials.

While they are infinitely entertaining...



I don't think I can ever find myself seeing an infomercial and saying to myself, "OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I AM INCAPABLE OF POURING MILK INTO MY CEREAL WITHOUT A PRODUCT THAT I CAN GET FOR 10 EASY PAYMENTS OF $9.95!!!" Sorry, Ron Popeil, Billy Mays, and the Sham Wow dude... I don't care about you. But I will laugh at things like this though:



"Whew... that's it..."


4. Your religion.

I am Buddhist. I don't really understand why people think that is a religion, because it's really not. It's more a proactive way of life. I don't do things because a book tells me not to, I don't do things because I think they're a bad idea. Likewise, I do things because I think it's a good idea... all by my lonesome. I don't have a problem with people and their religions. In fact, Buddha has been quoted as saying:

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."

That makes sense to me and that is why I do the things I do and believe the things I do. I really don't need people telling me I'm going to hell or argue with me using their version of moral judgement on the world. I don't care. I don't care if you're Christian, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Mormon, Hindu, Buddhist or whatever. This doesn't mean I don't respect your religion and your beliefs. I will never go out of my way to offend you, but if you're a member of the Westboro Baptist Church or any other such group.... GAME ON! If you find the Bible, the Koran, or whatever words of Jebus (yes, Jebus) soothes your soul, then go for it. You have the right to believe in whatever you want. But, have the respect to realize that I didn't go to your church for a reason, so.... don't bring it to me. However, I do welcome open-minded discussion on religion, if you promise not to be offended when I ask, "Why?" a billion times.


3. People that have a false sense of superiority.

Whatever happened to everyone is created equal? People seem to have a need to find a way to make themselves more superior to others. Whether is because they're in the majority or because they simply have nothing better to do, if they need to remind me of their greatness and awesomeness through words? There is a problem. They, perhaps, are not nearly as awesome as they think they are. Or they're afraid that respect is a zero-sum situation. That is someone else gains equality, then therefore someone else must lose some. Quite frankly, this quote from Homer J. Simpson does NOT fly with me: "I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are. " Nobody is perfect and the quicker the people of the world figures out that everything does not revolve around them and their belief system, the quicker we'll get to world peace. If you're desperate for attention and approval, please don't talk to me. I believe in pointing out people's flaws and hoping they'd notice that they need to fix themselve. I enjoy finding out what makes people tick and the poking them there until they cry. This is the purpose of What's YOUR Deal?!? I can't personally make the entire world cry, so please, forward my blog to your friends that need a kick in the junk. Just because you outnumber me, does not make me any less right. Fight stupid. Only you can prevent stupidity.


2. Guilt trips.

I just simply don't care. Guilt trips are so ridiculous. Why should I feel guilty about other people's stupidity? I've spent over a decade pointing out other people's stupidity, in hopes that they will change. Unfortunately, thus far... the world is winning. Do you guilty about that? I'm talking about you. Yes, you. You who have failed in your role as a human being on the planet Earth. You don't feel guilty, do you? Damn. Welcome to my world.


1. Your feelings.

And finally, I really don't care about your feelings. I don't care that I've insulted you. Because I only insult those that deserve it. And you do. No, I won't feel guilty for calling you out. No, you are not better than me. No, I'm not going to hell for believing the things I do and not believing in your insanity. And no infomercial product can possibly save you. I really do hope that you find yourself being the subject of mockery among those that sees your bovine feces for what it really is... a big steaming pile of crap.


So folks, there you have it. These are the things I don't care about. Have a good day.