… But UIC HATES you…
Over the summer the lights went out in CCC, plunging the Fitness Center into darkness. Now why would it be dark? Wouldn’t a major metropolitan college with an enormous student body have buildings that have safety features such as emergency backup lighting? That would be logical, but the University of In-Competence is far from logical. And it’s not as if this has happened only once.
It happened to me, personally 2 years ago while I was swimming in the CCC pool. I was happily working on my backstroke until I realized it was suspiciously dark. The only light coming in was from the windows. I floated around for a bit waiting for the emergency lights to kick in… a wait that would prove fruitless. I then saw a flicker of light… from a flashlight being carried by a staff member that told us to get out of the pool. There were two flashlights that went around, one to the men’s locker room and one to the women’s locker room. Those rooms are huge, shadowy, dangerous, and ripe for some raping and pillaging. Not to mention the floors were wet and slippery and the corners of the benches were pointy and shin-hurting. Armed with just ONE flashlight that we were given, we went in and said, “Let there be light…” and there was barely enough light power to see the lockers.
This was 2 years ago and with all the alleged campus improvement projects that have gone on; I’ve yet to SEE a campus improvement. While I do appreciate the added sofas around campus, it was a topic I wrote about a year or so ago, and the coffee shop improvements are nice. There’s no depth to any campus improvements. Just because the campus is beautified, we’re expected to forget about all its deficiencies?!? And just how CAN you beautify a campus that resembles a prison in all its window-lacking glory? Welcome back!
… Shoe Companies HATE you…
It’s the start of a new school year and of course, we all are in tune with the latest fashions, especially shoes. There are SO many variety of athletic footwear available nowadays. We have the hip new styles and the just as hip retro kinds. There’s your canvas, leather, or the occasional mesh. We can’t forget our high-top basketball shoes, made by every cool brand name on the planet. There’s the wide variety of running shoes, walking shoes, cross-trainers, and tennis shoes. There’s also bowling shoes that somehow seem to be getting popular. The only thing all these shoes have in common is that they’re expensive and people that buy them generally don’t use them for their alleged purposes except for the old people that do use walking shoes for walking.
We’ve been duped as a population by shoe companies to buy overpriced footwear for an image that most of us can’t pull off. We all want to be like Mike, Kobe, Allen Iverson, or whoever the flavor of the month happens to be. Oh yeah, it’s so cool to wear shoes peddled by our heroes. Maybe I can find a pair of bright red boots to wear, because Superman wears them. Maybe I can even fly too! Even little babies are wearing Air Jordans that cost what a pair of decent shoes for adults would cost! What kind of message is that sending to them? You’re practically telling them, “Expensive shoes makes you a cool baby, cool babies are loved. You don’t want to be the Payless baby down the street, do you?” Don’t you realize this is all a scam to take your money in return for a depthless image? You’re getting ripped off! Duh!
… And Religion HATES you!
The masses are so easy to be swindled and it’s pathetic. Ever wonder what religion really is? Some person, seeing how stupid people can be, decides to make up stories to explain why things are the way they are. And through the years, decades, centuries, and millennia those stories become a part of who we are. Or so we think. Some of us study the ancient mythologies of the Greek and Roman empires and to us it’s a bunch of stories that probably has its roots in some ancient drug-induced hallucination that someone had. But to them, that was their entire belief system. So when a new up and coming religion came to be, probably also created under the same circumstances, people flocked to that one and boom: old religion bad, new religion good. This is why I think the separation of church and state should exist, because once your religion is discredited, then so is the state.
So where am I going with this? First, I fear for the future of the United States, with all the recent attention given to gay marriages, the citation of religion has been prevalent by our powers that be. The Pope thinks gay marriage is bad, therefore our President thinks is bad. Congress is working on an amendment declaring in the United States, you have to be able to insert Tab A into Slot B to get married. This all comes about because our entire belief system is based on the stories that someone or some people came up with a long, long, time ago in a land far, far away. What about the belief system that our country was founded upon? What about life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness? What about equality and justice? Isn’t that OUR belief system? Why must we use religion as an excuse to retain the status quo because of a fear of change? As far as I’m concerned, religion just isn’t a good enough reason to discriminate.
And secondly, why can’t I just create a new religion? Why can’t I just make up an elaborate tapestry of stories to explain everything in the universe? All I need is a few people in on a plot to help convert the world to my ways. I mean, this IS how religions are started and yet we have so much faith in them. How would Zeus feel today looking upon a world that no longer worships him? He’d probably feel nothing, seeing as he probably isn’t real. I think it’s time for a change, anyone want to start a new religion with me?
Monday, August 25, 2003
Friday, July 11, 2003
Rant With Me...
So We’re All Going To Hell…
At the end of last month, the United States Supreme Court ruled against a Texas law against sodomy and just like every other time that a liberal decision is made, conservatives go haywire. They’re all prophesizing the fall of the American way of life and the destruction of all things we hold dear. They’re claiming that because the right of due process superceded the desire to prosecute homosexuals that it will eventually lead to the eventual fall of the institution of marriage. If that didn’t make sense to you, you’re not alone. Just because the Supreme Court is upholding a Constitutional right, it doesn’t necessarily lead to societal collapse. But then, everything not status quo seems to lead to societal collapse when you’re talking to conservatives.
Conservatives have existed since the dawn of life, they’re the little buggers that refuse to evolve but yet will survive us all, much like cockroaches. If history’s conservatives had their way, women would have no rights and neither would African-Americans. And if the religious right made any sense, we’d all be on our way to hell regardless of what religion we actually are. Quite frankly, I don’t care if I’m going to hell so long as civilization continues to evolve and better itself through acceptance and mutual understanding. And as long as close-minded conservatives continue to bitch and moan about something different and the religious right continue to freak out about anything contrary to their beliefs, we all have plenty of idiots to make fun of. Because, like roaches, they just exist to annoy us without having much to offer humanity.
A Case For Mediocrity
We live in a society that wants us to be perfect despite the fact that we are the embodiment of mediocrity. How many people you know are perfect? How many of you have perfect GPAs? Somewhere within each and every one of us lies a flaw. But yet, everywhere we look, people want perfection. We all seemingly live our lives in this endless quest to be perfect, we strive to be the perfect child for our parents, we strive to be the perfect friend, we strive for that perfect GPA to get us into med school, and we strive to be a perfect person. What’s with all the striving? There isn’t anything wrong with being mediocre! I mean, look at baseball batting averages. A guy will be perfectly content with a .300 batting average and might end up in the Hall of Fame if he keeps those numbers up. But yet, if we have a 30% average in a class, we’ve pretty much signed, sealed, and delivered a failure in the class. And what’s the difference between the two anyways? The pitcher is much like the professors, challenging the opposing party to be able to handle whatever they throw at them. And the batter is like the students, struggling to do SOMETHING with whatever is thrown at them. But yet… the batter makes millions of dollars with an average that would probably lead to him or her failing out of college.
If our national pastime allows for successful mediocrity, then why can’t the rest of society do so as well? Not all of us can be ranked in the top 10% of our class, not all of us can be that perfect little valedictorian; not all of us can be perfect. But yet, the masses of people that are nothing more than mediocre are trapped in an endless cycle of rejection. What a world we live in…
Speaking of Baseball…
The 74th Annual Major League Baseball All-Star Game was played at Comiskey Park recently and it was definitely pretty cool to see the park filled with people. Well… at least on TV. But anyways, I spent that weekend volunteering at FanFest which is baseball heaven for fans of the game. While there, I had the opportunity to see the official All-Star Game jerseys for the American League and National League for sale. They were costly little things, costing $140 a piece. I, like many others, looked upon the racks of jerseys and considered getting one while others were walking around proudly wearing their newly bought overpriced clothing. They were pretty cool and all, I mean I own a couple of White Sox jerseys and I like showing my support for my favorite team and player. But I’ve never understood the reason for people paying SO much for a shirt with a name and number on the back. With that aside, my gripe isn’t about the price, but with their claim that it’s the official All-Star Game jersey for the 2003 All-Star Game.
So, I went home to watch the game after a day of volunteer work and I turned on the TV to see the teams getting introduced. And guess what? None of them were wearing the “official” jersey that was being sold for $140. They were all wearing their respective team jerseys! What a scam! I’m SO glad I didn’t buy one of those jerseys, because all they really are is a shirt with a name and number on it. It’s a shirt design that never even made it onto the field! As if the strike, overpriced hot dogs, demolition of historic stadiums, and the renaming of existing stadiums with stupid names didn’t piss off fans, those Major League Bastards are still trying to rip fans off. Bastards.
At the end of last month, the United States Supreme Court ruled against a Texas law against sodomy and just like every other time that a liberal decision is made, conservatives go haywire. They’re all prophesizing the fall of the American way of life and the destruction of all things we hold dear. They’re claiming that because the right of due process superceded the desire to prosecute homosexuals that it will eventually lead to the eventual fall of the institution of marriage. If that didn’t make sense to you, you’re not alone. Just because the Supreme Court is upholding a Constitutional right, it doesn’t necessarily lead to societal collapse. But then, everything not status quo seems to lead to societal collapse when you’re talking to conservatives.
Conservatives have existed since the dawn of life, they’re the little buggers that refuse to evolve but yet will survive us all, much like cockroaches. If history’s conservatives had their way, women would have no rights and neither would African-Americans. And if the religious right made any sense, we’d all be on our way to hell regardless of what religion we actually are. Quite frankly, I don’t care if I’m going to hell so long as civilization continues to evolve and better itself through acceptance and mutual understanding. And as long as close-minded conservatives continue to bitch and moan about something different and the religious right continue to freak out about anything contrary to their beliefs, we all have plenty of idiots to make fun of. Because, like roaches, they just exist to annoy us without having much to offer humanity.
A Case For Mediocrity
We live in a society that wants us to be perfect despite the fact that we are the embodiment of mediocrity. How many people you know are perfect? How many of you have perfect GPAs? Somewhere within each and every one of us lies a flaw. But yet, everywhere we look, people want perfection. We all seemingly live our lives in this endless quest to be perfect, we strive to be the perfect child for our parents, we strive to be the perfect friend, we strive for that perfect GPA to get us into med school, and we strive to be a perfect person. What’s with all the striving? There isn’t anything wrong with being mediocre! I mean, look at baseball batting averages. A guy will be perfectly content with a .300 batting average and might end up in the Hall of Fame if he keeps those numbers up. But yet, if we have a 30% average in a class, we’ve pretty much signed, sealed, and delivered a failure in the class. And what’s the difference between the two anyways? The pitcher is much like the professors, challenging the opposing party to be able to handle whatever they throw at them. And the batter is like the students, struggling to do SOMETHING with whatever is thrown at them. But yet… the batter makes millions of dollars with an average that would probably lead to him or her failing out of college.
If our national pastime allows for successful mediocrity, then why can’t the rest of society do so as well? Not all of us can be ranked in the top 10% of our class, not all of us can be that perfect little valedictorian; not all of us can be perfect. But yet, the masses of people that are nothing more than mediocre are trapped in an endless cycle of rejection. What a world we live in…
Speaking of Baseball…
The 74th Annual Major League Baseball All-Star Game was played at Comiskey Park recently and it was definitely pretty cool to see the park filled with people. Well… at least on TV. But anyways, I spent that weekend volunteering at FanFest which is baseball heaven for fans of the game. While there, I had the opportunity to see the official All-Star Game jerseys for the American League and National League for sale. They were costly little things, costing $140 a piece. I, like many others, looked upon the racks of jerseys and considered getting one while others were walking around proudly wearing their newly bought overpriced clothing. They were pretty cool and all, I mean I own a couple of White Sox jerseys and I like showing my support for my favorite team and player. But I’ve never understood the reason for people paying SO much for a shirt with a name and number on the back. With that aside, my gripe isn’t about the price, but with their claim that it’s the official All-Star Game jersey for the 2003 All-Star Game.
So, I went home to watch the game after a day of volunteer work and I turned on the TV to see the teams getting introduced. And guess what? None of them were wearing the “official” jersey that was being sold for $140. They were all wearing their respective team jerseys! What a scam! I’m SO glad I didn’t buy one of those jerseys, because all they really are is a shirt with a name and number on it. It’s a shirt design that never even made it onto the field! As if the strike, overpriced hot dogs, demolition of historic stadiums, and the renaming of existing stadiums with stupid names didn’t piss off fans, those Major League Bastards are still trying to rip fans off. Bastards.
Tuesday, June 10, 2003
Summertime Rants
Mmmm…. McRib…
No, I didn’t get a job at McDonald’s this summer… that’s my post-graduation aspiration (kidding). But it is that time of year again when the McRib returns to the McDonald’s menu. It seems almost as if they can only serve processed meat covered in artificially flavored sauce only during the summer. And anyone with a brain KNOWS that’s not true. So what makes this particular sandwich so special that is can only exist for a few fleeting months out of the year? That is truly the million dollar question.
But surprisingly, the temporary McRib has captured the attention of the public and pop culture by being spoofed by The Simpsons with Homer’s obsession with the Krusty Burger’s version: the Ribwich. And even more surprising there are webpages online devoted to this little sandwich! But then, maybe that’s not as surprising, seeing as there are websites devoted to everything under the sun and then some. For a sandwich introduced in 1981 on the permanent McDonald’s menu and have subsequently been only around when their head honchos got a hankering for some processed pork product, it has managed to maintain some semblance of staying power.So what is the secret behind the McRib? Why can’t we have it all the time? Is it really as hopeless additive and made with glowing, radioactive pork goo as The Simpsons suggest? It is actually made with the real meat of some soon to be extinct animal? It’s like the Tootsie Roll Pop question… the world may never know. But regardless of why the McRib only lives long enough to tempt us with its delicious processed porkness, it is a damn good sandwich! I don’t care where it comes from or how many endangered animals need to be killed, I want my damn McRib!!! Anyone with me?
Who Gets To Pick Those Smileys?
It’s the age of technology and most people communicate with instant messaging programs. It’s cheaper than a phone call and quicker than e-mail or a letter. But the nagging question is that who gets to pick the random 16 smileys that are available on AOL Instant Messenger? I mean, the standard :-) , :-D , :-P , and ;-) are always useful. But who really uses most of those? I mean, what IS the deal with that one smiley that looks like it’s high?! Why can’t there be useful smileys like perhaps a raised-eyebrow smiley? There are smileys for the happy people, the really happy people, the sad people, the crying people, and the angry people… but never is there one for the people in between. In an age where we prefer not to actually interact with people, the lack of certain smileys on IM programs is a great disservice to the general populace. The lack of vital artificial facial expressions might actually compel us to… actually go and… interact with humanity! Oh the horror! And all we really wanted was something that looks like this: ,:-\ Is that too much to ask for?
Speaking of Wants…
How did tickets to baseball games ever get this expensive? People are paying thousands of dollars to watch prime games like Cubs vs. Yankees, Sox vs. Cubs, or the All-Star Game this year at Comiskey (It’s STILL Comiskey!). Maybe I’m a cheap, poor college student, but I can’t ever fathom a time where I’ll be willing to fork over a semester’s worth of tuition at UIC to sit in a ballpark for about 3 hours, pay for overpriced food, and watch a bunch of guys hit a ball with a stick. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love baseball and I’m a diehard Sox fan. But damn, that’s a lot of money to be spent for games I want to see. If people refused to pay the price of scalped tickets, then the scalpers won’t sell them for exorbitant prices. If the fans won’t pay then the Cubs won’t rip fans off by conspiring with their own ticket scalping broker. It’s the age of concept of supply and demand. I know, everyone DOES want to go see the Cubs and Yanks, and the Sox and Cubs play… myself included. Tickets shouldn’t go to the highest bidder, but they should go to the fans that are willing to stay in line to buy them. Those were the good old days. But now if most fans can’t afford to go see a game… there’s no point to it.
No, I didn’t get a job at McDonald’s this summer… that’s my post-graduation aspiration (kidding). But it is that time of year again when the McRib returns to the McDonald’s menu. It seems almost as if they can only serve processed meat covered in artificially flavored sauce only during the summer. And anyone with a brain KNOWS that’s not true. So what makes this particular sandwich so special that is can only exist for a few fleeting months out of the year? That is truly the million dollar question.
But surprisingly, the temporary McRib has captured the attention of the public and pop culture by being spoofed by The Simpsons with Homer’s obsession with the Krusty Burger’s version: the Ribwich. And even more surprising there are webpages online devoted to this little sandwich! But then, maybe that’s not as surprising, seeing as there are websites devoted to everything under the sun and then some. For a sandwich introduced in 1981 on the permanent McDonald’s menu and have subsequently been only around when their head honchos got a hankering for some processed pork product, it has managed to maintain some semblance of staying power.So what is the secret behind the McRib? Why can’t we have it all the time? Is it really as hopeless additive and made with glowing, radioactive pork goo as The Simpsons suggest? It is actually made with the real meat of some soon to be extinct animal? It’s like the Tootsie Roll Pop question… the world may never know. But regardless of why the McRib only lives long enough to tempt us with its delicious processed porkness, it is a damn good sandwich! I don’t care where it comes from or how many endangered animals need to be killed, I want my damn McRib!!! Anyone with me?
Who Gets To Pick Those Smileys?
It’s the age of technology and most people communicate with instant messaging programs. It’s cheaper than a phone call and quicker than e-mail or a letter. But the nagging question is that who gets to pick the random 16 smileys that are available on AOL Instant Messenger? I mean, the standard :-) , :-D , :-P , and ;-) are always useful. But who really uses most of those? I mean, what IS the deal with that one smiley that looks like it’s high?! Why can’t there be useful smileys like perhaps a raised-eyebrow smiley? There are smileys for the happy people, the really happy people, the sad people, the crying people, and the angry people… but never is there one for the people in between. In an age where we prefer not to actually interact with people, the lack of certain smileys on IM programs is a great disservice to the general populace. The lack of vital artificial facial expressions might actually compel us to… actually go and… interact with humanity! Oh the horror! And all we really wanted was something that looks like this: ,:-\ Is that too much to ask for?
Speaking of Wants…
How did tickets to baseball games ever get this expensive? People are paying thousands of dollars to watch prime games like Cubs vs. Yankees, Sox vs. Cubs, or the All-Star Game this year at Comiskey (It’s STILL Comiskey!). Maybe I’m a cheap, poor college student, but I can’t ever fathom a time where I’ll be willing to fork over a semester’s worth of tuition at UIC to sit in a ballpark for about 3 hours, pay for overpriced food, and watch a bunch of guys hit a ball with a stick. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love baseball and I’m a diehard Sox fan. But damn, that’s a lot of money to be spent for games I want to see. If people refused to pay the price of scalped tickets, then the scalpers won’t sell them for exorbitant prices. If the fans won’t pay then the Cubs won’t rip fans off by conspiring with their own ticket scalping broker. It’s the age of concept of supply and demand. I know, everyone DOES want to go see the Cubs and Yanks, and the Sox and Cubs play… myself included. Tickets shouldn’t go to the highest bidder, but they should go to the fans that are willing to stay in line to buy them. Those were the good old days. But now if most fans can’t afford to go see a game… there’s no point to it.
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