Leave Spam Alone!

Greetings readers! It has come to my attention that a lot more people have possibly seen this blog than I’ve previously realized. Excellent, please tell your friends or do your part to save the economy and buy my shirts. http://www.zazzle.com/docpoonie It’s nice to get my message across to more and more people every week. It gives me an immense sense of personal satisfaction to know that at least one other person thinks that what I say is neat. I’ve often contemplated about how to best propagate my propaganda. For some reason that last sentence made me giggle a little, because way back in the day in high school, I ran for Junior Class Vice President and my entire campaign centered itself in the bathrooms. I had posters plastered in every stall and over every urinal, knowing that everyone would have to see them at least once, and in fine print on the bottom of the posters were the words “Brought to you by the Proprietors of Predictable Propaganda.” It made me happy that I won that election… and subsequently advertisements in the bathrooms were banned at my high school. Go figure. I have no idea why I decided to share that little tidbit of my past with you all, but sharing is caring… and I love you all (maybe). But the point remains, at what point are advertisements funny and witty versus irritating and annoying. I suppose there’s a multi-billion dollar industry to answer that question, but it’s readily apparent what advertisements are irritatingly annoying and that’s internet spam. At what point does ANYONE think it’s a good idea to e-mail people with offers of elongating your penis and then a few minutes later another one with enlarging your breasts? I suppose there are people that may have both and want both to be bigger… To each their own. And it’s not just those ads, it’s all of them. I don’t want to see a little dancing pop-up floating across my screen as I’m trying to click on the 10-day weather forecast. So, this week’s rant is inspired by my friend Shannon. Shout out to Shannon! We were having a conversation about internet spam and why such a horribly annoying concept has been associated with such a tasty little can of luncheon meat. Spam gets such a bad name, yeah the goopy stuff on top when you open the can is rather odd, but honestly Spam is some good stuff. If you ever go to Hawaii, they serve Spam, eggs, and rice as a breakfast option. If McDonald’s can serve it… it has to be good, right? Oh wait… maybe not. What makes Spam any different than… say a hot dog? Personally, I don’t see a difference between the two uber-processed meats. At first I suggested to Shannon that instead of Spam, we should call it internet fruitcake because it’s everywhere and everyone has one somewhere. Unfortunately, she pointed out to me that that’s a term associated with gay people. Then I guess everyone on the planet has a gay person in their closet somewhere. So, I hereby declare form this day forth… we shall all make the effort to call the junk e-mail we get… Internet Brussel Sprouts. Or IBS… just so it’d be synonymous with Irritable Bowel Syndrome… nobody ever needs IBS of either kind. I would webcam myself doing something like this, except replacing the word Britney with Spam: But, I think I scare enough of you already and it’s always fun to bring up oldie, but goodie YouTube videos. Stay tuned next week for my rant against people who don’t understand the concept of orderly lines. Have a good one everyone!