The Cause of Road Rage... It Just Might Be You...

Greetings to the fans of What's YOUR Deal?!? Today, I write my blog in California! Finally, I have moved out of the frozen tundra and to a place where the shovel I carry in the back of my Jeep will be used if I'm stuck in sand rather than snow. However, all is not sunshiney goodness in the world of Poon... if it was, this blog wouldn't exist and we can't have that, can we? Of course not. So, what can possibly have pissed me off on my beautiful trek through the Pacific Northwest and down the state of California? I can almost just hear the chorus of your thoughts saying, "STUPID PEOPLE!" That makes me smile on the inside, knowing that my readers are starting to see the world as I see it. So yes, stupid people. Stupid people driving vehicles. Stupid people driving vehicles that can KILL me going at highway speeds (although, the term "highway speed" was arguable during parts of the drive). I know, here is an Asian female writing a rant about drivers! Go ahead, laugh... it's pretty funny. But, I make no claims about my own driving prowess, in fact, my people are infamous for things like this: Although, that's not an Asian specific thing, apparently. There are some retarded people operating large machines on the roads that are a hazard to not only my life but also my sanity. Allow me to discuss a select few... First, have you ever wondered where traffic starts? Like, how a road that is going at 70+ miles per hour sudden slows to a crawl for an inexplicable reason? Well... I had that question answered for me the other day. There I was, crusing at slightly above the speed limit... then BAM... brake lights and slowing. WTF? There was one car, driving BELOW the speed limit in one lane and a Winnebago in the other... both literally impeding the forward progress of humanity. Honestly, if you're driving and all you see is open road ahead... for the love of all that is holy, LOOK BEHIND YOU! If you see a parking lot of cars BEHIND YOU and there's no way for them to get in FRONT of you... YOU, my idiotic friend, ARE THE CAUSE OF TRAFFIC! Yes, you. You are THAT guy/gal. This leads me to my second qualm about idiot drivers... people that apparently do not have the reading skills to comprehend signs that say, "SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP TO THE RIGHT"... unless you're driving a NASCAR at NASCAR racing speeds.. you ARE ALWAYS slower traffic. There will ALWAYS be someone going or trying to be going faster than you. This is ESPECIALLY the case when you're driving a motorhome and pulling a trailer. Merge right and let people PASS YOU and then you can go back to putt-putting along and being oblivious to the rest of the world. I wish I had a battering ram to nudge these people off the road... just spin them out a little... And finally, this really isn't the cause of other people's road rage, but what is the deal with bumper stickers? Yes, some are hilariously funny, but the unfortunate thing about bumper stickers are that people leave them on their cars long after they're pertinent. First off, what would EVER compel someone to put Election bumper stickers on thair car. The election season is only but a mere few months long but you're gonna be leaving your bumper sticker on for the life of your car? As if it isn't bad enough to have a sticker like that on your car, it's hilarious when you chose the non-winning candidate. (No one's a loser, right?) How much longer do I have to see a McCain-Palin '08 sticker on your rear end? Hell, one time I saw a Dukakis sticker! And what about those bumper stickers that say, "My child is an Honors Student at ______ School?" How long do those kids have to endure being an academic All-Star when they were 10? This was especially hilarious when a bunch of them piled out of a minivan at a gas station, all of them looking like they're the poster children of the Montana Meth Project. There is the face of your Honors Student. Congratulations. Although, I think this should trump all: And with that... thanks for reading this week's edition of What's YOUR Deal?!? Stay tuned next week for the exciting continuation of my ranting and raving.