Apologies and a Hearty Dose of Fist-Shaking...

First off, my apologies for disappearing on my loyal readers for the past couple of weeks. The process of moving and trying to look for the packed away basics is quite an ordeal. Although, I did try to write a rant last week, but the computer ate it when I forgot to save it. I know that apology sounds about as sincere as: But, I did not hit CTRL-S on this computer... Anyways, in the previous installment of What's YOUR Deal?!? I promised a rant on people's inability to understand the concept of getting in line. Seriously? It's such a simple comcept that even little pre-schoolers understand. It's like everyone on the planet think they deserve special consideration, regardless of anyone around them. I know you're guilty of that and honestly, so am I. How many times have you been in line at a cafeteria, fast food place or a concession stand while standing behind someone ordering enough food to feed the continent of Africa ten times over while all you wanted was a drink? I know I've been in that situation too many times to count. And each time I'm thinking to myself, "I better order some fries before this fat bastard in front of me causes another potato famine!" Or you stand there wondering why in the world there isn't an express line for people that really want 3 items or less. I digress. I seriously think some people are as oblivious as this lady (Shout out fo B-Roc for introducing this hilarity to me): Oh wait... that's the parody... The real clip is here: http://www.brendadickson.com/welcomehome.html Before that, I didn't know fruits came "pre-digested." But hold on... that hurt my brain so much I need a break... I think you might too after that. Inhale... Exhale... Inhale... Exhale... You good? Okay, so am I. I was at a nice outdoor Farmer's Market a couple of weeks ago, standing in line to get little mini-donuts. Mmmm... donuts. So, to anyone that's ever been to outdoor gatherings, the lines aren't necessarily straight and unless you're at an amusement park, you're not going to have those ropes leading you around and around like cattle. So me and my friend were just standing there in line, waiting patiently like most civilized people do and then this oblivious Brenda Dickson-esque woman just runs straight up to the window and places an order right in front of me. We look at her like she missed the short bus to whatever assisted-living home she belongs to and she looks at us like she's never seen another human being standing in line before. She then had the ovaries to ask, "Oh, were you in line?" No, we weren't in line, you little abortion that got away... my friend and I just wanted to stand here smelling the donuts without any intention of making a purchase. I know in crowds like that, it could get a LITTLE confusing to some people. But that's why evolution provided us with the ability to communicate. A simple, "Are you waiting in line?" or "Is this a line?" or even eye contact, a raised eyebrow, and a point would get you the answer you need. This is common in women's restrooms... where apparently no woman can urinate without an entourage. Unless you have diarrhea exploding out your anus, through your pants, and down your legs... you have no right to assume there is no line. Considering that woman probably did not have projectile feces... not to mention a donut stand is the absolute improper place to be running towards when the gurgling in your belly demands attention... there is no excuse for that woman to have cut in front of us in line. I give her the hearty fist shake of the week because some things literally make no sense whatsoever and trying to justify it with any form of logic will just hurt our collective souls...