It's time again for yet another righteously indignant rant to kick off the new year with. Most people struggle to find a New Year's Resolution this time of year and many that do will eventually forget what they resolved to do and spiral further into the cycle of pitifulness that plagued them the year before. Don't take that as an insult. I do the same thing. However... I offer this suggestion to all of my perhaps 2 readers (Tell more people about me... sheesh!) out there: Shopping carts.
Shopping carts, you ask? Yes. Shopping carts. How many times were we told as kids by our parents to put our toys away when we're done with them? How many of you have kids or interact with kids on a daily basis and know the irritation you feel when you step on or trip over a toy that's just lying around? Starting to see my point now? People leave their shopping carts all over parking lots when there are obviously places to return them. But now, instead of tripping over toys with our feet, shopping carts run into cars. What's a stubbed toe in comparison to scratched paint and dents on our vehicles? Why can't people just walk the extra 10 feet or so to the nearest shopping cart return area and put their cart away? It drives me INSANE to see a mother with a litter of children just leave her shopping cart randomly in the middle of the parking lot, when you know full well that when she gets home she's pissed at her kids for leaving their toys out. How is that for being a hypocrite?
People want to save the world, lose half their body weight, or whatever unobtainable goal for the new year. Why don't you try taking baby steps towards that and just walk the little bit extra to return your cart... you'll save cars from dents and dings, you'll probably work off some of your lard, and you'll set a good example for people around you.
But... while on the topic of shopping carts, why are people retarded with them? It's obvious that the homeless has mastered the art of shopping cart maneuvering because they're not annoying with their carts... unlike the retards that populate the aisles of grocery stores. Stop parking your cart in the middle of aisles when stopped. There really isn't all what much room there, between your cart and your Royal Rotundness. And don't park on the opposite side of the aisle where you're grabbing things, so I have to harness some NFL running back-caliber cuts and jukes in order to get around you. It's really not that hard. How would you like it if I parked my car right in front of your door, completely inhibiting your ability to get anywhere?
So... shopping carts. I hope everyone resolves to be less stupid with their shopping carts. Don't be an impediment to the forward progress of humanity. Have a happy new year everyone.
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