Okay... when a place says they close at a certain time... that in theory, makes them open at ALL other times... or so I think it should work. However... this doesn't seem to apply to the post office in town.
It was 5:23 when I rolled up, the place SAID that it closes at 5:30. How... 7 minutes... yeah, I'm cutting it a LITTLE close... but seriously, if you say you're supposed to be open until 5:30, your ass better be open until 5:30... otherwise you post 5:23 on your little stupid sign.
I just needed to pick up a couple of packages... nothing that should've taken 7 minutes. The time she spent just standing there shaking her head at me as I tried to explain to her I just needed her to walk her lazy self to the back and get me two boxes should've been spent doing just that! But no, she stands there, shaking her head at me and looking at the clock, which read 5:25. This woman was just standing there waiting to close, with the doors locked.
Tell me I'm not weird or that I'm expecting the impossible. I show up somewhere before it closes and by all means I should get what I went there for. Places shouldn't just arbitrarily close because someone is a fucktard. Can you imagine going to a hospital, expecting to see a doctor, but they're just standing there looking at you wondering, "Why are you here now?"
Why even bother having hours listed if you're just going to arbitrarily close? How about I randomly show up and break into your place because well... if you randomly close, I figure I can make you randomly open.
Stupid people suck.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Monday, October 13, 2008
I'm sorry fat people...
This is going to be one of my more offensive postings. I apologize in advance to anyone I offend... because I know I will offend you.
Airline travel is quickly becoming, for lack of a better phrase, ass-pain. You have to pay to check bags... pay to eat... pay for the little oxygen masks that come down when the plane depressurizes... Okay, so I'm kidding about the last part. Although, I'm not sure how farfetched that could be in the future. "Please deposit $5 for 20 minutes of oxygen. $1 for each additional minute."
Anyways, I digress.
I know it's the rising cost of fuel that is driving planes to be more cramped and more expensive. Fabulous. But I'm still forking over a helluva lot of money to get from point A to point B uncomfortably. With the increasing shrinkage of seating room and massive expansion of the American waistline, planes are a murder waiting to happen.
I've flown repeatedly this past year and I've flown regularly in the past. I also concede, I'm not the more lithe of individuals, but I'm not FAT. I do not spill over into my neighbor's seat. I do not have fat rolls that inhibit the arm rest from coming down. I do not have Chewbacca arms that are Brillo pads rubbing against my neighbor. Every time I get off the plane, I feel like I need to de-louse myself.
It's not that I don't like fat people... I have fat friends. I'm getting fat myself, but the moment I realize that my fatness is impeding the ability of the Earth to rotate on its axis... there's a problem.
Case in point: I was on a flight once, a fat couple wouldn't sit next to each other... why? "It's uncomfortable," they said. GEE. YA THINK?! Instead of them annoying each other with the collision of planetary bodies, they split up... and I get an unnecessary glutteal intrusion into MY personal space.
This past flight I was on, I was sitting next to a rather robust woman. The pilot came up on the speaker telling us that the plane was "tail heavy" and requested two passengers move up forward. Her Royal Lardness didn't move... two skinny guys did. She probably poops their combined weight on a hourly basis. So... for two hours... I was trapped between Blubberina's tub and the wall of the plane.
Do people not REALIZE that they are THAT annoyingly offensive? It's like people that smell bad. Seriously... people around you are vomiting... does it not cross your mind that it's YOU?
If there are regulations governing checked bags and carry-on sizes... I think there should be a size limit on passengers. If you don't fit in the chair you are assigned, you have to buy another seat or you shouldn't be allowed to board. I mean, it makes more sense than airlines charging people up the wazoo for everything else. Fat people need to pay their debt to society... and not just their McDonald's tab.
I paid for 1 seat on an airplane. Not 3/4 or 1/2 of what I'm entitled to. You need to pay me for spatial distress.
Airline travel is quickly becoming, for lack of a better phrase, ass-pain. You have to pay to check bags... pay to eat... pay for the little oxygen masks that come down when the plane depressurizes... Okay, so I'm kidding about the last part. Although, I'm not sure how farfetched that could be in the future. "Please deposit $5 for 20 minutes of oxygen. $1 for each additional minute."
Anyways, I digress.
I know it's the rising cost of fuel that is driving planes to be more cramped and more expensive. Fabulous. But I'm still forking over a helluva lot of money to get from point A to point B uncomfortably. With the increasing shrinkage of seating room and massive expansion of the American waistline, planes are a murder waiting to happen.
I've flown repeatedly this past year and I've flown regularly in the past. I also concede, I'm not the more lithe of individuals, but I'm not FAT. I do not spill over into my neighbor's seat. I do not have fat rolls that inhibit the arm rest from coming down. I do not have Chewbacca arms that are Brillo pads rubbing against my neighbor. Every time I get off the plane, I feel like I need to de-louse myself.
It's not that I don't like fat people... I have fat friends. I'm getting fat myself, but the moment I realize that my fatness is impeding the ability of the Earth to rotate on its axis... there's a problem.
Case in point: I was on a flight once, a fat couple wouldn't sit next to each other... why? "It's uncomfortable," they said. GEE. YA THINK?! Instead of them annoying each other with the collision of planetary bodies, they split up... and I get an unnecessary glutteal intrusion into MY personal space.
This past flight I was on, I was sitting next to a rather robust woman. The pilot came up on the speaker telling us that the plane was "tail heavy" and requested two passengers move up forward. Her Royal Lardness didn't move... two skinny guys did. She probably poops their combined weight on a hourly basis. So... for two hours... I was trapped between Blubberina's tub and the wall of the plane.
Do people not REALIZE that they are THAT annoyingly offensive? It's like people that smell bad. Seriously... people around you are vomiting... does it not cross your mind that it's YOU?
If there are regulations governing checked bags and carry-on sizes... I think there should be a size limit on passengers. If you don't fit in the chair you are assigned, you have to buy another seat or you shouldn't be allowed to board. I mean, it makes more sense than airlines charging people up the wazoo for everything else. Fat people need to pay their debt to society... and not just their McDonald's tab.
I paid for 1 seat on an airplane. Not 3/4 or 1/2 of what I'm entitled to. You need to pay me for spatial distress.
Monday, October 29, 2007
People That Annoy Me
STUPID KIDS:
I love weekends and days where kids are off from school... in the most sarcastic way of course... They're everywhere… movie theaters, checkout lines… everywhere I want to be. Who, you ask? Stupid, bratty, snot-nosed little 13-year old kids that are obnoxious and stupid. They're the ones standing either in front of or behind you blabbering continuously about the newest hot teen idol of the week, "Oh… My… God… ____ is SOOO HOT!" Or they chatter on about some nonsensical video game imported from Japan, "Dude, did you beat the ToyotaNissanSushiMon on the 99th level of Seizure Inducer VI?!?" If not that, they're talking continuously about the drama at their school, "Billy dumped Jane and Jane hooked up with Billy's brother who is like… totally in college…" They not only just talk about it, but they are intolerably loud about it, oblivious to the annoyance that they are causing among the people around them. To quote Apu from the Simpsons, "I can't believe you don't shut up!"I honestly hope I'm not like that or at least wasn't like that when I was their age. If I was, I'm surprised no one just smacked me and told me to shut up! Because I'm sure 4 or 5 years from now, those snot-nosed brats will probably be embarrassed that their idiotic conversations about stupid things were overheard by others. I'm sure I would be! So as a public service to them and to everyone around them, the next time you hear a obnoxious kid jabber on and on about stupid things, just smack him or her. You'll be doing them and society a favor.
ELEVATOR BUTTON PUSHERS:
I've come to just assume and expect the idiocy of the people around me. But I do trust them enough to push a little button to get an elevator. Yet, the same trust isn't bestowed upon me! When I push the elevator call button and just stand there waiting, someone else is bound to come along and push the button again, completely ignoring the fact that it's already lit and that I had pressed the button already. Why do people think that pushing the button repeatedly would just miraculously make the elevator come faster? Why don't they just believe the button has already been pushed? And why do people push the button for a floor even after someone pushed it already? Either people are retarded and don't understand the concept of how an elevator works, or they're retarded and those trust that the button has been pushed. How about I poke you to get your attention and then just keep poking you because I don't believe I have your attention? How would you like that?
SEAT KICKERS:
No offense to Michael J. Fox, Muhammad Ali, or any other of the countless sufferers of Parkinson's disease, but annoying idiots are giving your disease a bad name. I'm talking about those spastic retards that shake their legs or kick incessantly in theaters or any other place where entire rows of seats are linked together. It's incredibly annoying to constantly kicked. So unless you have a disease and you can't help it, you have no right to be disturbing the people around you like that... especially if you're an annoying brat to top it off.
TOILET BANDITS:
Why can't people flush a toilet? What is so difficult about just pushing the little thingie on the back of the toilet to make your excrement go away? I seem to have really shitty luck (pun intended) when it comes to going to public restrooms. I never fail to always walk into the stall with an ungodly amount of urine or feces sitting in the bowl staring at me. What are people thinking? Do they think if they just walk away, the pee and poo just disappear? They obviously don't grow legs and walk away! THEY STAY THERE! I mean, do you just leave shit and piss in your own toilet at home? Have the common courtesy to just flush it. You might as well have just shat on the floor outside the bathroom.
Well... this concludes today's rant. Tune in for more when I get pissed again. :)
I love weekends and days where kids are off from school... in the most sarcastic way of course... They're everywhere… movie theaters, checkout lines… everywhere I want to be. Who, you ask? Stupid, bratty, snot-nosed little 13-year old kids that are obnoxious and stupid. They're the ones standing either in front of or behind you blabbering continuously about the newest hot teen idol of the week, "Oh… My… God… ____ is SOOO HOT!" Or they chatter on about some nonsensical video game imported from Japan, "Dude, did you beat the ToyotaNissanSushiMon on the 99th level of Seizure Inducer VI?!?" If not that, they're talking continuously about the drama at their school, "Billy dumped Jane and Jane hooked up with Billy's brother who is like… totally in college…" They not only just talk about it, but they are intolerably loud about it, oblivious to the annoyance that they are causing among the people around them. To quote Apu from the Simpsons, "I can't believe you don't shut up!"I honestly hope I'm not like that or at least wasn't like that when I was their age. If I was, I'm surprised no one just smacked me and told me to shut up! Because I'm sure 4 or 5 years from now, those snot-nosed brats will probably be embarrassed that their idiotic conversations about stupid things were overheard by others. I'm sure I would be! So as a public service to them and to everyone around them, the next time you hear a obnoxious kid jabber on and on about stupid things, just smack him or her. You'll be doing them and society a favor.
ELEVATOR BUTTON PUSHERS:
I've come to just assume and expect the idiocy of the people around me. But I do trust them enough to push a little button to get an elevator. Yet, the same trust isn't bestowed upon me! When I push the elevator call button and just stand there waiting, someone else is bound to come along and push the button again, completely ignoring the fact that it's already lit and that I had pressed the button already. Why do people think that pushing the button repeatedly would just miraculously make the elevator come faster? Why don't they just believe the button has already been pushed? And why do people push the button for a floor even after someone pushed it already? Either people are retarded and don't understand the concept of how an elevator works, or they're retarded and those trust that the button has been pushed. How about I poke you to get your attention and then just keep poking you because I don't believe I have your attention? How would you like that?
SEAT KICKERS:
No offense to Michael J. Fox, Muhammad Ali, or any other of the countless sufferers of Parkinson's disease, but annoying idiots are giving your disease a bad name. I'm talking about those spastic retards that shake their legs or kick incessantly in theaters or any other place where entire rows of seats are linked together. It's incredibly annoying to constantly kicked. So unless you have a disease and you can't help it, you have no right to be disturbing the people around you like that... especially if you're an annoying brat to top it off.
TOILET BANDITS:
Why can't people flush a toilet? What is so difficult about just pushing the little thingie on the back of the toilet to make your excrement go away? I seem to have really shitty luck (pun intended) when it comes to going to public restrooms. I never fail to always walk into the stall with an ungodly amount of urine or feces sitting in the bowl staring at me. What are people thinking? Do they think if they just walk away, the pee and poo just disappear? They obviously don't grow legs and walk away! THEY STAY THERE! I mean, do you just leave shit and piss in your own toilet at home? Have the common courtesy to just flush it. You might as well have just shat on the floor outside the bathroom.
Well... this concludes today's rant. Tune in for more when I get pissed again. :)
Thursday, April 26, 2007
Ponderings on Stupidity
Those of you that know me, or at least read the words that I write probably know that "stupid people" annoy me and that I have a genuine hatred for those that I've termed, "fucktards." Everyone is stupid every once in a while (or for some... it might be more commonplace). I mean, I don't want to sound like a hypocrite when I go off on the stupidty of humanity when I have one some pretty stupid things myself. Case in point, I have stabbed one of my friends, stepped on her hand, AND busted her windshield... among probably many other things that I've probably forgotten. But were any of those things done maliciously? No. Today, while driving, this car tried to merge into my lane (in a space in which I still occupied)... was that annoying? Yes. Did it piss me off? Yes. Was it malicious? Probably not, unless someone is trying to kill me. But this person was totally oblivious to the fact that he nearly sideswiped me. This makes this kind of act unforgivable.
The fine line between those that are stupid and those that are fucktards lie in whether or not the action was done with a malicious intent. And the even finer line between forgivable stupid people and those that are hopeless lies in whether or not they are aware of their actions. I genuinely felt bad when I stabbed, stepped on, and ruined my friend's windshield. The guy who nearly hit me... didn't even blink. That's the true definition of stupid.
But, if stupid is unforgivable... then fucktards should be banished from existence. They are the people that intentionally try to make people's lives a living hell. Those that have nothing better to do with their time than to sit there and think up of ways to hurt someone else and actually make the effort to do so. There are enough people in the world inadvertently hurting others... why do some people take it upon themselves to deliberately do it? What would drive someone to be so heartless and evil?
Those are the people that I call fucktards... fuckers that are retarded. I want everyone to look themselves in the mirror and ask yourself, "Am I a fucktard?" If you answer with an immediate no... I'd have to ask you to reconsider. If you took the time to actually think, "Shit... I've done some pretty bad things..." you're on the road to recovery. The moment that you become conscious of the consequences of your actions is the moment that you stop becoming a fucktard. Unfortunately, there are still too many fucktards in the world... and that makes me incredibly frustrated and sad. I see so many good people get hosed over in life by fucktards and there's simply nothing I, nor anyone else, can do about it.
The fine line between those that are stupid and those that are fucktards lie in whether or not the action was done with a malicious intent. And the even finer line between forgivable stupid people and those that are hopeless lies in whether or not they are aware of their actions. I genuinely felt bad when I stabbed, stepped on, and ruined my friend's windshield. The guy who nearly hit me... didn't even blink. That's the true definition of stupid.
But, if stupid is unforgivable... then fucktards should be banished from existence. They are the people that intentionally try to make people's lives a living hell. Those that have nothing better to do with their time than to sit there and think up of ways to hurt someone else and actually make the effort to do so. There are enough people in the world inadvertently hurting others... why do some people take it upon themselves to deliberately do it? What would drive someone to be so heartless and evil?
Those are the people that I call fucktards... fuckers that are retarded. I want everyone to look themselves in the mirror and ask yourself, "Am I a fucktard?" If you answer with an immediate no... I'd have to ask you to reconsider. If you took the time to actually think, "Shit... I've done some pretty bad things..." you're on the road to recovery. The moment that you become conscious of the consequences of your actions is the moment that you stop becoming a fucktard. Unfortunately, there are still too many fucktards in the world... and that makes me incredibly frustrated and sad. I see so many good people get hosed over in life by fucktards and there's simply nothing I, nor anyone else, can do about it.
Sunday, December 31, 2006
What's YOUR Deal?!? of the Year 2006
Well, it's New Year's Eve and we close out yet another year in our lives. However, I can't let another year go by without calling out the absolute insanity that perpetuates social injustice. What am I talking about? United Airline's standby flight policy. It shows that the travel industry has changed little since the large number of steerage passengers died on board the Titanic. The elitism that drove that inequity is still alive today. Unfortunately, the class struggle still exists everywhere else as well, but you'd think the travel industry has learned its lessons.
I was one of the many passengers still stuck at Denver International Airport right before Christmas and I was extremely lucky to have made it home for the holidays. The storm was over by the time I was flying, but it didn't change the fact that there were still plenty of people still stranded in Denver trying to get home. I had just missed my flight, as had many other people due to delays and missed connections. We were all trying to get on flights heading somewhere near our destinations. But because of the insanity, it was difficult (not impossible) to book a confirmed seat on a flight. We were trying to fly standby on flights. But the list kept growing and there were about 200 people trying to get to Chicago the night I was there. But it is the manner in which they prioritized people on the list that was an absolute travesty.
I'm not sure if this is the policy on other airlines as well, but to fly standby on United, you're put on a list. And within that list, they prioritize you on two factors: the price of your original ticket and your standing in the United Mileage Plus program. That's it. They don't care if you were first in list. They don't care if you've been at the airport for 3 days. If someone came in, having bought more expensive tickets and had uber-frequent flier miles... you get bumped. So it didn't matter if people ran to the next gate trying to get a spot on the standby list.
Essentially, the rich got to fly out. The relatively poor were trapped in Denver. What was worse? The Red Cross actually came and took their cots away because the snowstorm "disaster" was over. They absolutely ignored the hundreds of people still sleeping on the floor of the airport trying to get home.
This is not the first time I've seen the class struggle, but you'd think that in some areas... they would've established more equitable policies. I actually asked one of the United Airlines employees why they don't prioritize based on who's been there the longest. Because this one girl... paid about $400 for her tickets and wasn't a member of Mileage Plus... was stuck there for 3 days. THREE DAYS. While some one who was flying first class, missed their flight an hour before got priority over her. This employee actually said to me, "Well, we have to prioritize somehow and this is the fairest way to do it."
So wait... the fairest way to do it is to reward the rich? And leave stranded 20-somethings who are trying to get home for the holidays with cheap tickets? Or perhaps the families who can't afford to fly all of their children on first class? And that none of the above "class" of people would ever be able to move up on the standby list because someone would always come along with more expensive tickets and a better standing in the Mileage Plus program. I'm glad I'm not on a ship and my life depended on these policies. I'd be totally SCREWED!
I'm sorry, United Airlines, that's FUCKED UP! And you win the prize for the "What's YOUR Deal?!?" of the year. You're also getting a very angry letter from me... as soon as I get back to Great Falls.
I was one of the many passengers still stuck at Denver International Airport right before Christmas and I was extremely lucky to have made it home for the holidays. The storm was over by the time I was flying, but it didn't change the fact that there were still plenty of people still stranded in Denver trying to get home. I had just missed my flight, as had many other people due to delays and missed connections. We were all trying to get on flights heading somewhere near our destinations. But because of the insanity, it was difficult (not impossible) to book a confirmed seat on a flight. We were trying to fly standby on flights. But the list kept growing and there were about 200 people trying to get to Chicago the night I was there. But it is the manner in which they prioritized people on the list that was an absolute travesty.
I'm not sure if this is the policy on other airlines as well, but to fly standby on United, you're put on a list. And within that list, they prioritize you on two factors: the price of your original ticket and your standing in the United Mileage Plus program. That's it. They don't care if you were first in list. They don't care if you've been at the airport for 3 days. If someone came in, having bought more expensive tickets and had uber-frequent flier miles... you get bumped. So it didn't matter if people ran to the next gate trying to get a spot on the standby list.
Essentially, the rich got to fly out. The relatively poor were trapped in Denver. What was worse? The Red Cross actually came and took their cots away because the snowstorm "disaster" was over. They absolutely ignored the hundreds of people still sleeping on the floor of the airport trying to get home.
This is not the first time I've seen the class struggle, but you'd think that in some areas... they would've established more equitable policies. I actually asked one of the United Airlines employees why they don't prioritize based on who's been there the longest. Because this one girl... paid about $400 for her tickets and wasn't a member of Mileage Plus... was stuck there for 3 days. THREE DAYS. While some one who was flying first class, missed their flight an hour before got priority over her. This employee actually said to me, "Well, we have to prioritize somehow and this is the fairest way to do it."
So wait... the fairest way to do it is to reward the rich? And leave stranded 20-somethings who are trying to get home for the holidays with cheap tickets? Or perhaps the families who can't afford to fly all of their children on first class? And that none of the above "class" of people would ever be able to move up on the standby list because someone would always come along with more expensive tickets and a better standing in the Mileage Plus program. I'm glad I'm not on a ship and my life depended on these policies. I'd be totally SCREWED!
I'm sorry, United Airlines, that's FUCKED UP! And you win the prize for the "What's YOUR Deal?!?" of the year. You're also getting a very angry letter from me... as soon as I get back to Great Falls.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Christmas Rant
Yes, I'm calling a Christmas rant. Regardless of whether or not you believe in Christianity it shouldn't matter. Why? Because regardless of what you believe in... December 25th is CHRISTMAS. Just like how the last Thursday in November is Thanksgiving and how the 4th of July is Independence Day. And how late January, early February-ish is Chinese New Year. If you're not Chinese... there's no flippin' reason why you should be offended if the lunar calendar doesn't necessarily fall in line with the one we use. I celebrate your New Year's Day just as I celebrate Chinese New Year... all the more partying! So, you overly PC numbnuts, deal with it.
Anyways... it's not really the spirit of the season or even necessarily the religious aspect of the season that this rant is about... but the pure commercialism in the form of niceness. This is the season where gifts are exchanged. In theory, we also get the warm fuzzy feeling that comes from friends and family. Or at least a reasonable substitute in the form of gifts received.
What defines giftibility? At what point does a friend merit a Christmas gift? This is truly the question we must all answer. And even if you decide that a friend merits a gift... what should the cost of the gift be? Say for example, you give a gift to a friend and they didn't get you one... now they feel shitty. Or vice versa. Someone gave you a gift and you didn't have anything to give back. Now you look like the asshole.
Or... what if you both decide on gift giving and one person gives the other something really nice and other person got socks. Now, it could be very thoughtful socks... but socks might not compare to say... even a $20 gift certificate or maybe you have a very generous friend that got you a video game or something.
And there is no good solution to this. Feelings are bound to get hurt no matter what. Even if you tell a friend that you're going to get them socks, they're probably thinking to themselves one of two things: "FUCK, I have get something!" or "SHIT, is that what I'm worth? SOCKS?!?" The same applies if you plan on giving them an iPod or something, "Oh crap! All I got them was socks... dammit!" Or even if you tell someone you're getting them something... they might not have been planning to give you a gift at all.
You could stockpile some "Default" gifts to give to people that unexpectedly gave you a present. But then, they'll realize, "Wait a minute... everyone else got this too..."
This is what Christmas has turned into... a post-Thanksgiving free-for-all in malls and weeks of deliberation of what to give people and which people to give gifts to. Yes, yes... that's not what Christmas is really about... but YOU KNOW this is what you're thinking this time of year. You're a dirty stinkin' liar if you deny it!
The spirit of the season is goodwill towards humanity, but not all goodwill is created equal. That warm fuzzy feeling of the season might be one of embarassment and shame. This is what Christmas is truly about. That and people fighting in the malls over the last remnants of suitable presents the week before C-Day hits.
Maybe the Unabomber had it right... live as a hermit and mail people bombs... Saves Christmas headaches.
Happy Holidays everyone... and if you're gonna get me a gift... tell me and I'll get you one. If I got you a gift last year... chances are, I'm gonna get you one this year. And everyone else... you're getting a hug and maybe a possibly sincere compliment. Good luck!
Anyways... it's not really the spirit of the season or even necessarily the religious aspect of the season that this rant is about... but the pure commercialism in the form of niceness. This is the season where gifts are exchanged. In theory, we also get the warm fuzzy feeling that comes from friends and family. Or at least a reasonable substitute in the form of gifts received.
What defines giftibility? At what point does a friend merit a Christmas gift? This is truly the question we must all answer. And even if you decide that a friend merits a gift... what should the cost of the gift be? Say for example, you give a gift to a friend and they didn't get you one... now they feel shitty. Or vice versa. Someone gave you a gift and you didn't have anything to give back. Now you look like the asshole.
Or... what if you both decide on gift giving and one person gives the other something really nice and other person got socks. Now, it could be very thoughtful socks... but socks might not compare to say... even a $20 gift certificate or maybe you have a very generous friend that got you a video game or something.
And there is no good solution to this. Feelings are bound to get hurt no matter what. Even if you tell a friend that you're going to get them socks, they're probably thinking to themselves one of two things: "FUCK, I have get something!" or "SHIT, is that what I'm worth? SOCKS?!?" The same applies if you plan on giving them an iPod or something, "Oh crap! All I got them was socks... dammit!" Or even if you tell someone you're getting them something... they might not have been planning to give you a gift at all.
You could stockpile some "Default" gifts to give to people that unexpectedly gave you a present. But then, they'll realize, "Wait a minute... everyone else got this too..."
This is what Christmas has turned into... a post-Thanksgiving free-for-all in malls and weeks of deliberation of what to give people and which people to give gifts to. Yes, yes... that's not what Christmas is really about... but YOU KNOW this is what you're thinking this time of year. You're a dirty stinkin' liar if you deny it!
The spirit of the season is goodwill towards humanity, but not all goodwill is created equal. That warm fuzzy feeling of the season might be one of embarassment and shame. This is what Christmas is truly about. That and people fighting in the malls over the last remnants of suitable presents the week before C-Day hits.
Maybe the Unabomber had it right... live as a hermit and mail people bombs... Saves Christmas headaches.
Happy Holidays everyone... and if you're gonna get me a gift... tell me and I'll get you one. If I got you a gift last year... chances are, I'm gonna get you one this year. And everyone else... you're getting a hug and maybe a possibly sincere compliment. Good luck!
Sunday, December 10, 2006
How is THAT News?!?
The Information Age is pretty awesome. We have access to just about any kind of information at just a click of a button. Those of us old enough remember having to actually go to a library to do research and that encyclopedias came in book form. Today, everything is right there. And quite frankly... it's getting ridiculous.
Do we REALLY need 24 hours worth of news every day? I mean seriously... sometimes... NOTHING happens. Case in point, the other day I was watching Fox News and the headline was, "DRESS DRAMA" and within a few seconds it turned to "DRESS DISASTER." WTF? It wasn't like the Titanic sank again or some world leader was assassinated... no, it was Laura Bush and her stupid DRESS. Evidently 3 other women were wearing the SAME DRESS at a White House holiday party. WHOA! That's mind-blowing. That's worthy of wasting 30 minutes of my life and the lives of those fools actually ANALYZING this piece of BREAKING news.
Another thing, E. Coli at Taco Bell... tainted spinach... West Nile Virus... seriously now. 10 people die or get sick or something and suddenly it's an outbreak of funky food. If we're going to discuss the inane, obvious, and stupid... why don't we dedicate time to discuss the real things that are killing humanity: STUPIDITY and IGNORANCE.
Every single day... someone dies because someone else was stupid. You think I'm kidding? Drunk drivers... botched drive-bys... the list goes on. Those are the things more likely to kill us than some funky food you got at Taco Bell. I mean seriously now... if you DON'T get sick eating fast food all the damn time, you're the freak that should be on the news.
Our priorities are absolutesly messed up. We're willing to watch discussions on a DRESS. We're willing to subject ourselves to unjustified paranoia due to the newest "OUTBREAK!" But yet, we're not willing to actually take the time to celebrate the GOOD things in life. We're so willing to rally around and against the newest unjustifed threat that we forget that life is actually pretty good. So what if there's no imminent threat on any given day? So what if the world actually works out for once? We should take the time to enjoy those slow news days because they come too rarely. The world is fucked up enough for us to make minor things worse than they are.
Seize the day and enjoy the company of friends and family. Laugh a little longer and smile a little more. Because tomorrow... you might just walk out of the house dressed identically as everyone else in the world, eat a rancid spinach-topped taco, get E. Coli and while going to the hospital, get bit by a mosquito, get West Nile, and die.
If that happens... I'm sorry.
Do we REALLY need 24 hours worth of news every day? I mean seriously... sometimes... NOTHING happens. Case in point, the other day I was watching Fox News and the headline was, "DRESS DRAMA" and within a few seconds it turned to "DRESS DISASTER." WTF? It wasn't like the Titanic sank again or some world leader was assassinated... no, it was Laura Bush and her stupid DRESS. Evidently 3 other women were wearing the SAME DRESS at a White House holiday party. WHOA! That's mind-blowing. That's worthy of wasting 30 minutes of my life and the lives of those fools actually ANALYZING this piece of BREAKING news.
Another thing, E. Coli at Taco Bell... tainted spinach... West Nile Virus... seriously now. 10 people die or get sick or something and suddenly it's an outbreak of funky food. If we're going to discuss the inane, obvious, and stupid... why don't we dedicate time to discuss the real things that are killing humanity: STUPIDITY and IGNORANCE.
Every single day... someone dies because someone else was stupid. You think I'm kidding? Drunk drivers... botched drive-bys... the list goes on. Those are the things more likely to kill us than some funky food you got at Taco Bell. I mean seriously now... if you DON'T get sick eating fast food all the damn time, you're the freak that should be on the news.
Our priorities are absolutesly messed up. We're willing to watch discussions on a DRESS. We're willing to subject ourselves to unjustified paranoia due to the newest "OUTBREAK!" But yet, we're not willing to actually take the time to celebrate the GOOD things in life. We're so willing to rally around and against the newest unjustifed threat that we forget that life is actually pretty good. So what if there's no imminent threat on any given day? So what if the world actually works out for once? We should take the time to enjoy those slow news days because they come too rarely. The world is fucked up enough for us to make minor things worse than they are.
Seize the day and enjoy the company of friends and family. Laugh a little longer and smile a little more. Because tomorrow... you might just walk out of the house dressed identically as everyone else in the world, eat a rancid spinach-topped taco, get E. Coli and while going to the hospital, get bit by a mosquito, get West Nile, and die.
If that happens... I'm sorry.
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