Some sentimental drivel...

Well folks, this is the last "What's YOUR Deal?!?" I'll be writing from Great Falls, Montana. Worry not, I plan on continuing my weekly excursions into the depths of the pitiful colon of humanity when I get to California. I'm sure you're reading the words, "pitiful colon of humanity" and wondering about my mental stability... but bear with me and read this article from:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/05/world/americas/05briefs-9YEAROLDSABO_BRF.html?_r=5&ref=world

If the link doesn't work, here is the full text of the article, dated 5 March 2009, from the Associated Press:

"A 9-year-old girl who was carrying twins, and whose stepfather is suspected of raping her, underwent an abortion on Wednesday despite complaints from Brazil’s Roman Catholic Church. The stepfather has been jailed since last week, the police said. Abortion is illegal in Brazil, the country with the most Roman Catholics, but judges can make exceptions if the mother’s life is in danger or the fetus has no chance of survival. Fatima Maia, director of the public university hospital where the abortion was performed, said the pregnancy, which was in its 15th week, posed a serious risk to the girl, who weighs 80 pounds. But Marcio Miranda, a lawyer for the Archdiocese of Olinda and Recife in northeastern Brazil, said the girl should have carried the twins to term and had a Caesarean section. 'It’s the law of God: Do not kill,' he said in comments reported by the newspaper O Globo."

You see what I mean about humanity's colon? Seriously, I don't care what side of religion you're on, or what side of the abortion debate you're on... this story has more than enough f'ed up aspects to it to infuriate anyone. I'm not sure what's more messed up, the rape, the child abuse, the abortion, or the reaction by the church... or any combination of the disgust I felt in the pit of my stomach for the entire situation.

Well... with that said... the title of this week's rant is "Some sentimental drivel..." so this is actually less a rant than me just pontificating as I'm sitting on the floor of my empty apartment, typing on my laptop which is sitting on a box next to an air mattress that my cat has stolen for his own personal use.

Call me a spoiled capitalist yuppie... but I really miss having stuff. I miss my TV that's usually on constantly as I'm listening to the news, sports, The History Channel, or the Discovery Channel in the background while I read about random topics that pique my interest on the internet. I miss my bed and having a chair. But even sitting within the empty walls of my apartment, with all my stuff on a moving truck heading to California, I realize I have it better than a lot of people in the world. This is especially relevant seeing as how the economy is taking its slow downward swirl along the porcelain sides of the American dream, consuming everything in its path.

I love listening to the debates from conservatives and liberals regarding what to do with the economy... it's actually ridiculous. We have on one side, people wanting to cut goverment spending so as to not deepen the national deficit, which makes sense, the deficit is ridiculous right now and getting worse. We have on the other side people saying we need to stimulate the economy my throwing money at it, which also makes sense because without money, there is no economy. Now... who's right? Unfortunately, people don't see that both sides are right... and bipartisan politics is equally as offensive to me as what happened to that poor 9-year old in Brazil.

I'm not an economist, I suck at math, but this is my take on it all. The issue is really which is more important to people now. Yes, a deficit that we'll be trying to pay off forever is bad. However, without help, there are people that have no jobs right now. Because the banking system is so f'ed up, people can't buy anything, if people can't buy anything, then manufacturing dries up, and those workers that manufacture stuff... they now have no job. And with no job, there's no buying stuff... the swirling sensation you are feeling is your livelihood going down the toilet.

So... the way I see it is that we gotta throw money into the toilet to clog it... to stop the flush of economic doom. "But we're throwing money away!" Yes, I know... but if we clog the toilet early enough, you can reach back in there and grab the money you threw in. Ta-da! I really should seek elected political office. I'm sure I can turn this into a PowerPoint slideshow.

Oh well...

Apologies for this week's rant being not all that ranty, I've been too busy to truly get outraged about something... other than the entire process of moving. It's so strange to pack up everything and just go. But so such is the transient lifestyle of someone in the military. At least this time I relatively lucky and I get to be stationed with a big group of my friends, so it's not really a goodbye to most people at it is a, "See ya in California!" And in today's technology driven world we're never at a loss of contact with people unless they really don't like you enough to hide from you. I mean, how many people do we "stalk" on Facebook daily with what I call the "Stalker Feed." So and so uploads some pictures, next thing you know you're clicking through pictures of the birthday party of someone you haven't seen in years. So... I guess there really is never a goodbye. I'll definitely miss some of the people that I'm leaving behind in Great Falls... folks like my vet (such awesome group of people) and the people I work with (for better or for worse).

Yeah... well, I hope everyone keeps reading my rants and joins me in my righteous outrage over the stupidities of humanity and life in general. Peace.

More news stories that made me go WTF?!?

Okay... before I start my weekly tirade against the ever increasing mounds of bovine excrement that permeates our lives... I want to give a shout out to the RevSpitz that responded to my last rant. HILARIOUS! I haven't gotten a response like that since college! To those of you that have followed me since then, you know what I mean... and to those that are new to the "What's YOUR Deal?!?" experience, I would regularly get angry (and mostly nonsensical) responses to the editorials that I wrote. At one point, I think someone tried to blame me for the 9/11 attacks. Seriously! But anyways, I would like to give RevSpitz the "What's YOUR Deal?!?" idiot of the month award... for vainly trying to fight me on my home turf of common sense and for providing a very salient example of everything I was ranting about last week. Kudos, my friend. However, if I were you... I would cut down on the pictures of dead babies... I find that you get more positive responses when you put up pictures of cute things... like kittens: On a more personal note, said kitten is rather freaked out about me packing to move. He's looking at me like, "WTF?" and then with a more pitiful gaze of, "Don't leave me!" as he jumps into boxes and suitcases as I'm packing. But despite the overwhelmingness of it all, there are definitely things that deserve mockery over the past week. Let's begin... President Barack Obama's Address to Congress was earlier this week and did anyone else find it ridiculously odd that people just sporadically burst into applause? Seriously? Should I be randomly taking abrupt pauses in my speech waiting for you folks to start clapping? *waiting* *waiting* *waiting* Done? Okay... good. But the true WTF moment of the night revolved around Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal response to the Obama address. Unfortunately, I was on alert when the speech was given and I didn't get a chance to be more timely in my response. However, I, like many other people in the interweb land, including my friend Abby felt that Gov. Jindal, bears a striking resemblance to Kenneth the Page from NBC's 30 Rock. Exhibit A: Exhibit B: But... with that aside, as well as this humorous take from MSNBC's Rachel Maddow: I offer you... BizarrObama from my cousin Monica: http://shadowofsputnik.blogspot.com Pretty funny stuff. I wish I came up with it myself. Anyways... next WTF moment of the week... Octopussy. No, I'm not talking about the James Bond movie. I'm talking about Nadya Suleman. Who? Octopussy... the woman who shot eight babies out of her birth canal in one sitting? Oh, now you get it. And no, it's not vulgar. Afterall... Octopussy WAS the name of a Bond movie. Go take it up with Hollywood. Why am I talking about Octopussy? Besides the fact that I get to write Octopussy repeatedly in this paragraph? I offer you this article: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/us_world/2009/02/25/2009-02-25_octuplet_mom_nadya_suleman_fears_hospita.html There are SEVERAL things in that article that made me want to scream... First: "The 33-year-old unemployed mother of 14 depended on food stamps and disability to care for her six children even born before she became known as Octomom. She's been living with her half-dozen kids in her mother's three-bedroom home in suburban Los Angeles, but the house is under threat of foreclosure." What's YOUR Deal, woman!?! I think I will steal Rachel Maddow's response here... Ba... ba... bah... bahbahbah? That is such irresponsible motherhood! STOP HAVING CHILDREN WHEN YOU CAN'T AFFORD THEM! I can't even imagine the thought process... "Gee... I can barely support myself and my litter of children... hmmm... let's go to a fertility doctor and have MORE kids." It's not like she ACCIDENTALLY got pregnant having unprotected sex... this woman made a CONSCIOUS decision to have MORE children. Un... freakin'... believable. Not to mention the utter irresponsbility of the doctor that let her do that. Hippocratic Oath anyone? Do no harm? Guess not... Maybe I should find where that guy went to medical school... maybe he or one of his classmates will prescribe me some Oxycontin or something for no reason except for the fact that I want drugs. But... THE ABSOLUTE HIGHLIGHT of this article is this: "A major porn company has offered octuplet mom Nadya Suleman $1 million to star in a skin flick. Vivid Entertainment is even willing to sweeten the deal by giving Suleman's massive family full medical and dental insurance if she agrees to get naughty in multiple videos, TMZ.com reported. 'Your movie would be distributed under our Vivid-Celeb imprint, which has released titles starring such personalities as Pamela Anderson, Kim Kardashian, and most recently, former Miss USA Kelli McCarty,' Vivid Entertainment Chairman Steven Hirsch wrote in a letter to Suleman." AHHHHHHH!!! Octopussy coming to a computer screen near you!!!! There are two ways to take this news... (get your minds out of the gutter!)... (1) If she accepts the offer... I suppose she's finally be financially responsible enough to CARE for her litter of children... however... I don't want to fathom Octopussy Porn... And (2) if she doesn't accept this offer... it'd be the first smart thing she's probably EVER done. Now that I've sufficiently traumatized you... For more outrage: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap_travel/20090227/ap_tr_ge/eu_travel_brief_ireland_ryanair_pay_toilets It's well-documented how much I HATE the airline industry with a passion... but this... this... is ridiculously retarded. I know, you all are probably thinking, "No way... this is dumb!" But remember when airlines started charging for checked luggage? It started with one airline... We all thought the same thing... there's no way! Fast forward to today... people are bringing absurd amounts of carry-on luggage onto the plane to avoid paying to check a bag. When will this idiocy stop? Here's Mad TV's take on it: I will pee on RyanAir's seats before I will pay to use an airplane toilets. The fight against stupid continues... and stupid appears to be winning.

Kinda neat...

Courtesey of wordle.net

I Can't Be The Crazy One RIght?

Greetings loyal blog readers! I'm back after a brief hiatus in which I went to Canada. As a sidenote, anytime I'm in Canada or mention Canada, this pops into my head like a giant YouTube thought bubble: Anyways... whether you were anxiously awaiting my next rant or really glad I wasn't around so you didn't have to pretend you read my stuff out of an obligation not to offend me or somewhere in between... I'm back. :) The next couple of weeks are going to be hectic as I'm preparing to move to California. Worry not, my friends, there are still plenty of things that will irritate me between here and there. However, I'm actually starting to comtemplate my own sanity. You know the saying that if you keep doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome... that makes you crazy? Well... that's the impasse that I'm at. I am so annoyed by all the stupidity around me and I try to make my stand against it, expecting the stupid to decrease... to no avail (of course). Does that make me the crazy one? Such deep thoughts to ponder... but then I see another article about the Westboro Baptist Church and realize that I can't possibly be more crazy than them. Or perhaps this woman: As long as there are people more crazy than I am... and I can wake up in the morning going, "Wow, I'm glad I'm not _______." I can deal with that. Now before I begin, to all of my religiously conservative readers out there, I just want to point out that I am not anti-religion. I'm not anti-God. I'm Buddhist, which isn't REALLY a religion in the traditional sense, but that is what I am and it allows me to look at different religions with a different light. I really do believe in this quote attributed to Buddha: "Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it." So... I do not mean to offend, I just want to challenge points of view and hope to learn something new within the discourse. So... with that said, I stole this picture from a friend of mine that I post with on a soccer forum (I'm sorry I can't remember your name!): I know, before people with pitchforks and torches come storming to my front door, that not everyone that is religious is THAT wacky. Just because you believe in something doesn't mean you're an extremist. I get that. For example, I totally believe in animal rights and anti-cruelty to animals. I mean, how can you look at a face like this want to hurt it? (I'm referring to the orange one on your left): But, that doesn't make me an extremist and doesn't mean I can't condemn the nutjobs that throw animal blood on people who wear fur or leather coats. Seriously, what's that going to do? They're just going to buy ANOTHER fur or leather coat... resulting in the death of yet another animal. People are dumb. This made me LIVID when I read the article earlier this week: http://www.buffalonews.com/cityregion/story/584792.html Excerpts from the article: "A religious fringe group from Topeka, Kan., is coming to Clarence Center and Buffalo on Sunday to picket church services to remember victims of Continental Connection Flight 3407. Westboro Baptist Church has long been associated with virulent anti-gay views and has picketed the funerals of American soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan. Members contend that the deaths it pickets are God's punishment for what it considers the nation's permissive attitude toward homosexuals." If your God is that homophobic, spiteful, and bored to just pluck planes out of the sky and throw them into populated areas... maybe it's time to find another religion. More from the article: "'It’s pretty cold and heartless,' Rick Zabel of Clarence Center said when learning about the group’s visit. 'Can’t they find something a little more constructive to do?' Zabel was one of several people who told The Buffalo News that they had never heard of the group or were, at best, vaguely aware of it. 'I don’t think it’s going to help anyone around here. People are trying to process this. Residents here need to heal themselves,' said Daveq Merlo, also of Clarence Center. Funerals for the grandmother of President Obama, then- President Bill Clinton’s mother, Frank Sinatra and hate-crime murder victim Matthew Shepard are among the hundreds that church members have picketed." Mr. Zabel put it best, "cold and heartless" and "can't they find something a little more constructive to do?" It is times like this that the idiocy of the Westboro Baptist Church needs to be spread around. So many people are like Mr. Zabel and haven't heard of this group until they decide to roll into a town near you and start picketing a funeral. And who knows... the funeral they picket, may just be your's. I actually would welcome these fucktards to my funeral. And with my internet fans as a my witness, I hereby INVITE the Westboro Baptist Church to my funeral with the hopes that my friends and family can lay an intellectual bitch-slap heard around the world upon their retardation. I feel it is my moral obligation to fight groups like this and spread the word that what they do is NOT acceptable and should NOT be tolerated. Yes, I understand that for some people that "any publicity is good publicity," but I beg to differ. I'd like to believe that if there is enough outrage... change will happen. I'm almost tempted to create my own church, twisting the words of God, Allah, Buddha, or any other deity to my own personal interpretation. I would call this the Internet Church of Poon or something, but that'd bring a lot of unwanted publicity... I digress. It just never ceases to amaze me how quickly rational people can go from zero to retarded. Or just purely how MANY dumb people there are in the world. Case in point, whenever it snows and it covers the lines of parking lots... people suddenly lose their ability to park their cars. The first one there, I can see it can get somewhat hairy. "Shoot, I think I remember the row started here..." and then everyone SHOULD just follow suit in terms of parking in a line at relatively the same angle. This is especially the case on say... a MILITARY BASE. Military folks should by all means know how to form up into a formation. It's the same concept with a car! If you've never parked at such a ridiculously parallel parking-esque angle in a PARKING SPOT... what makes you think it's okay when it snows? Anyways... all this stupid... there is just so little time to fight it all. Maybe I should create a cult... the Cult of What's YOUR Deal?!? And we can all wear matching Snuggies (does anyone else realize that a Snuggie is just a backwards robe?). I mean... if the President of the United States can do it... I say, "YES WE CAN!"

Be Back Next Week...

My bad folks... I was in Canada this past weekend. Look for a new rant next week! For now... enjoy this:

No, You're Dumb... And I'm Not Going to Sugar-Coat It...

Many times I've been asked why I get so worked up over these seemingly mundane topics... so I suppose I'll just start this week's rant off with a brief explanation. There are MANY things in the world today that are just so fundamentally f*cked up and we all choose to overlook it. We just go, "Oh, that's just dumb," and walk away. No. Don't walk away. If we start accepting stupid as the standard of behavior for humanity, then it will become the standard. I feel that is is my moral obligation to take a stand on my own little soapbox to call stupid STUPID where I see it. It's more than just shopping carts and Krispy Kremes... but those things DO matter. So that leads me into this week's angry tirade. Actually, I kid... it's not really that angry of a tirade. But it's something that's been bothering me. People love making excuses about things they do and even about life in general just to make themselves feel better. And yes, it IS to make themselves feel better and not the rest of humanity. We go out of our way to be politically correct and nice when it is clear that we don't mean it at all. The other night I went to see "He's Just Not That Into You" with some of my friends... and that movie was a kick to the ovaries and completely hurt my brain and my soul. It's not a bad movie, in fact, I found myself being quite entertained by it despite my dismay over the actions of the characters... which pretty much sums up how I feel about people in general. WIthout spoiling the movie for those people that want to go see it, it essentially explains how people sugar-coat things that they mean and other people start buying into the deception which leads to a cycle of delusional behavior. So how's a chick flick relate to life? Well... people go out of the way to pretend to be nice. You know it's true. People get together with their close friends and family and talk smack about everyone. And when you're face-to-face with the topic of discussion, suddenly it's, "OH HEY BUDDY! Wassup?" If you claim you don't do that? You're an even bigger lying sack of fecal matter. But because of this two-faced behavior... done under the guise of being nice and polite in society... we get other people who would deliberately seek out the subtext of hatred when people really don't mean anything derogatory. Case in point: The American Life League thinking Krispy Kremes are supporting abortions. Or... apparently Rachael Ray is a terrorist. Yes, in a Dunkin Donuts ad, she was wearing this: A friend of mine (Shout out to Galen!) sent me this link: http://www.newsweek.com/id/139334 And in the article it said: "The bloggers went on the attack when they saw spokesgal Rachael Ray wearing what they felt was a kaffiyeh, or Arab headdress, as a neck scarf. It was in fact a black and white paisley scarf, not traditional Arab garb, but that didn't matter when blogger Pam Geller posted the following under the header 'Rachel [sic] Ray: Dunkin Donuts Jihad Tool': "'ave you seen Rachel [sic] Ray wearing the icon of Yasser Arafatbastard and the bloody Islamic jihad. This is part of the cultural jihad,' wrote Geller." Seriously? Rachael Ray is a jihadist?! Why must people hijack DONUT ads? First Krispy Kreme and now Dunkin Donuts? HAVE YOU NO SHAME!? Abortion Krispy Kreme and Jihad Dunkin Donuts... words cannot express the dismay I feel. But all of this is derived from people not saying what they mean. Who can blame them? I am not a supporter of people just saying mean things out of spite because that's just messed up. I can't believe I'm saying this but this is where groups like the KKK (or any other white supremacist group), The Westboro Baptist Church, et cetera have it right. You see a stampede of people wearing white hoods, you know what their message is. Or you see a horde of people carrying picket signs to military funerals that say things like this: or Sidenote: Are you kidding me? God blew up Space Shuttle Columbia because of gay people? Anyways, as delusional as these groups are... you know where they're coming from. There's no subtle subliminal message when there's a burning cross on someone's lawn. But because of the need to be politically correct about retarded things, we're calling Rachael Ray a terrorist. But yet we're totally kosher with people still using "gay" as a derogatory term. I just don't get it. People are outraged against things that aren't REAL while true injustices and bigotry still exist in the world. Don't pretend to be nice. Why can't one just say, "Move your fat ass out of the way!" And ya know what? If your ass is in my way AND it is fat... you have no right to be offended. I'm not going to sugar-coat it and say, "Pardon me, your excessive girth is impeding my ability to get past you. Oh I'm sorry you have a glandular condition..." ARGH! If someone tells me to get my rice-eating Asian ass out of the way... I can't be offended either. I love rice. Just because you try to be politically correct in public doesn't mean you're morally righteous. Just because you protest against imagined slights doesn't make it right for you to be a dumbass in private. If you're going to be dumb... be true to your colors, my friend. Because otherwise, everyone gets confused and starts hallucinating stupid where stupid doesn't exist. And quite frankly, there's enough REAL dumb people in the world for us to deal with.

ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL?!?

There will be no new rant today... but enjoy the Special Update posted on Friday for your What's YOUR Deal?!? fix. I hope everyone enjoys Super Bowl Sunday and may the team of your choice do well... as long as your team coincides with the team I'm rooting for. :) Yeah.