Friday, January 30, 2009

Special Update: News That Make You Go Hmmm....

I've come to realize that the news is a phenomenon of being a constant 24-hour feed for people with no attention span because every few seconds a new stream of information comes tickering past the bottom of your screen... that the truly huge WTF moments are completely lost amongst the filler. Although, I suppose that people that read the ticker on the bottom of the screen can legitimately say that they read the news. *sigh* Anyways... 3 things that have made me go, "Hmmm..." and surprisingly... Rod Blagojevich is not among them (mainly because I have reached a media saturation point for that particular story.) ***** Number 3: Sasha and Malia Obama Beanie Babies. One question: Why? I can understand turning the president into some action figure or something... go ahead, Google the words "President" and "Action Figure" the first two links that pop up are the Former-President George W. Bush in flight gear and Former-President Bill Clinton in a blue business suit available for purchase. (Although I find it ironic that the iconic images to be preserved for posterity in plastic is a GI Joe-esque figure and another that is advertised as a "Talking Action Figure.") Go figure. Anyways... those are little kids that some company is profiting off of. My friend Abby posted this on her blog: http://www.paradoxdaily.com/2009/01/arianna-huffington-saves-day.html It's a pretty interesting read. So... what's the What's YOUR Deal?!? take on something that has already been covered? Two questions: Why wasn't Chelsea Clinton made into some doll? Or perhaps the Bush Twins... Although... I do suppose they bear a slight resemblance to those latex blow-up dolls... (Too soon? Sorry.) ***** Number 2: Why Are Human Beings Having LITTERS of Children? Yes, I said LITTERS. OCTUPLETS?!? Seriously? And the woman that just had them already has SIX CHILDREN. This is an interesting article to read from the Brits: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/us_and_americas/article5618449.ece This part of the article made me Scooby Doo-ify and go, "Rooooo?" with my head tilted: "However, most practitioners - while confirming that guidance tells them not to implant multiple embryos - acknowledge the choice is not ultimately theirs to make and rests solely with the mother. 'Who am I to say that six is the limit?' Dr Jeffrey Steinberg, medical director of Fertility Institutes, which has clinics in Los Angeles, Las Vegas and New York City, told the Associated Press news agency. 'There are people who like to have big families.' Dr James Grifo, professor of obstetrics and gynaecology at the New York University School of Medicine, added: 'I don’t think it's our job to tell them how many babies they’re allowed to have. I am not a policeman for reproduction in the United States. My role is to educate patients.'" So... with all the crap I've been giving the American Life League and the other EXTREMISTS in the Pro-Life/Anti-Choice movement... (I have to make that distinction because Pro-Life folks are cool... I think most of us are Pro-Life... it's the Anti-Choice part that's the incredibly stupid argument) the right CHOOSE pops up again!!! Anyways, why is the right to choose a GREAT thing when someone chooses to give birth to baseball team (minus one)? Or be able to have an entire NBA roster with one's offspring? That concept boggles my mind. So... Dr James Girfo... I salute you... "I am not a policeman for reproduction in the United States. My role is to educate patients." Ah... education... what a wonderful thing.... (SARCASM ALERT: But of course only when you're educated on just one slice of the opinion pie... and rest of it is SINFUL AND POISONED...) ***** Number 1: The Chinese Are Champions of RIGHTS?!? Well... maybe not HUMAN rights... but this story made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. What can I say? I'm a sucker for cute animals. http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/article2176812.ece#cid=OTC-RSS&attr=gay Gotta love the Brits... In case the link doesn't work, here's the article in its entirety: Gay penguin pair tie the knot By STAFF REPORTER Published: 27 Jan 2009 A PAIR of GAY penguins are so loved-up they have been given a WEDDING service. The besotted male birds turned out to be such a great parenting pair their keepers thought they deserved a reward and let them marry. They were once given the cold shoulder at the wildlife park in China for stealing heterosexual couples' eggs to nest as their own. But after being allowed to try out with eggs rejected by their mothers the couple have become the zoo's best penguin parents. Now keepers at Polarland Zoo in Harbin, north east China, have rewarded their devotion with a wedding day. One wore a tie and the other was dressed in a red blouse – a traditional Chinese bridal colour – as they stepped into their icy wedding room to the music of the Wedding March. Keepers then served them their favourite dish for the occasion – spring fish. "They have been a good couple and deserved their reward," said one keeper. ****** With all the drama regarding gay rights in the United States and the controversy of California's Proposition 8, which eliminated the previously existing right in that state for same-sex couples to marry, the CHINESE?!? PENGUINS?!? REALLY?!? Wow. (SARCASM ALERT: But before social liberals rejoice in this teeny tiny step towards equality in the animal kingdom, we must be prepared for the potential fall of penguin society and the possible extinction of the penguin race.) Do you think penguins can exist in the warmth of Hell? But seriously though, if the Chinese can open up their human rights trampling Commie hearts up to two adorable penguins in love... why can't everyone else?

Sunday, January 25, 2009

A Different Take On The War on Drugs...

This week's edition of "What's YOUR Deal?!?" is dedicated to Denise's mom Brenda, who suggested the topic for me to rant on. Oh, and speaking of Denise, check out her note: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1162188173#/note.php?note_id=70371544504 It's pretty darned entertaining.

And as an update to the Abortion Donut rant, I e-mailed both Krispy Kreme and the American Life League with this:

"I am very confused. How are the free Krispy Kremes tomorrow supporting abortions? Are the proceeds going to abortion clinics? I really need to know. Is the 'Right to Choose' different than the 'Freedom to Choose'? I don't want to inadvertently support something if it clashes with my sensibilities."

Unfortunately, I did not get a response from either. Oh well...

Anyways... on to this week's topic: Drugs. No, I'm not talking about the good stuff... the Oxycontins, the Vicodins, the Marijuana, Cocaine, or any of other more abusable drugs. I'm talking about the endless stream of commercials on TV advertising the latest and greatest in herpes treatment, anti-depressants, or lord know what else is supposed to be cured. You know what I mean, the drugs that the drug industry seemingly just shook a bag of Scrabble letters, poured a few on the table, and added -ax, -il, or -ol to the end and called it good. I almost want to create a game from this... new drug or latest Japanese car name? Seriously, what exactly is a Scion? Is it like a Cylon from Battlestar Galactica? Am I supposed to be afraid of it or drive it? (Actually, I think both...)

I digress.

How many of these stupid commercials do I need to endure? I'm sick of all of the commercials that start with happy peppy people kayaking, going on bike rides, and then BAM instead of an ad for the Bahamas or the Caribbeans... it's a HERPES DRUG commercial. "I have genital herpes..." GAH! Gee, maybe we can get the American Life League on these people... they are clearly advocating a pro-herpes life choice! Yeah, that doesn't make sense to me either, but it was fun to write. The implication of the commercial is not just that people with herpes somehow lead more active lives than most people, but it also implies that people, instead of going to doctors to get their diagnosis and treatment, should go to doctors and demand to be prescribed the latest drug they see on TV. It's like children demanding the latest Tickle Me Cabbage Patch Pokemon Station 3 from their beleaguered parents around the holiday season. What next? Sick people writing to Santa Claus going, "I've been a good girl this year.... can I please get a cure to cancer?"

As if the commercial drug industry isn't dominating the health care system already with the way they essentially bribe doctors with pens, mugs, and stationary... they're also targeting the American people. Of course doctors would be more inclined to prescribe something that the drug companies gave them for free to distribute. (Although, I am still in search of a Viagra pen. Anyone? If you have one or know where to get one, please let me know.) There's nothing wrong with generic medications and the commercialization of drugs is not just stupid and annoying, it's detrimental to health care. I guess poor people don't get the newest wonder drugs. Oh well!

Monetary costs aside, what about the physical cost? What is the deal with all of those side effects? I saw a commercial last night for a drug whose name I don't recall for the treatment of a medical issue I don't particularly care about and the side effect was TUBERCULOSIS! "This drug may cause TUBERCULOSIS!" W... T... F?!? As if I wasn't sick of hearing about diarrhea drugs causing constipation or constipation drugs causing diarrhea and anal leakage... TUBERCULOSIS!? Seriously?!? What next? Polio? HIV? Bubonic Plague? We get VACCINATED against Tuberculosis and your freakin' drug MAY CAUSE IT?!? I'm sorry, when the side effect is possibly scarier than whatever ailment I have, I think I'll take a pass on the drug. I don't care how depressed I am, but when the drug I'm taking for it causes my butt cheeks part like the Red Sea and diarrhea to rain forth upon the Promised Land... I can't imagine feeling that much better about myself.

Drugs aren't the answer. Don't get me wrong, I throughly... and I mean THOROUGHLY enjoyed my post-wisdom teeth and post-knee surgery Percocet... but the line has to be drawn. Whatever happened to people just going on kayaking and bike riding trips? You do realize you don't need to have herpes to have fun, right? Why can't people just live a healthy life and lower their risk for heart disease and erectile dysfunction by exercising? The last time I checked, jogging and playing sports don't cause Tuberculosis or anal leakage, but I may have to check on the latter. America, get off your drugs and get on Nintendo's Wii Fit or something! In the immortal words of Nancy Reagan: "Just say no."

Monday, January 19, 2009

Special Update: DAMMIT, I WANT A PRO-ABORTION DONUT!!!

Actually, they're NOT pro-abortion donuts... but... doesn't the concept seem ABSURD to you? It sure does to me. This story broke last week and I ignored it because it's not worthy of repeating... however... recent updates to this situation has forced a special update to What's YOUR Deal?!?

Check this out: http://all.org/article.php?id=11754

In case the link doesn't work, here's the text:

► KRISPY KREME CELEBRATES OBAMA WITH PRO-ABORTION DOUGHNUTS
by Katie Walker
Released January 15, 2009

Washington, DC (15 January 2009) – The following is a statement from American Life League president, Judie Brown.

"The next time you stare down a conveyor belt of slow-moving, hot, sugary glazed donuts at your local Krispy Kreme you just might be supporting President-elect Barack Obama's radical support for abortion on demand – including his sweeping promise to sign the Freedom of Choice Act as soon as he steps in the Oval Office, Jan. 20.

The doughnut giant released the following statement yesterday:
Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. (NYSE: KKD) is honoring American's sense of pride and freedom of choice on Inauguration Day, by offering a free doughnut of choice to every customer on this historic day, Jan. 20. By doing so, participating Krispy Kreme stores nationwide are making an oath to tasty goodies -- just another reminder of how oh-so-sweet "free" can be.

Just an unfortunate choice of words? For the sake of our Wednesday morning doughnut runs, we hope so. The unfortunate reality of a post Roe v. Wade America is that "choice" is synonymous with abortion access and celebration of 'freedom of choice' is a tacit endorsement of abortion rights on demand.

President-elect Barack Obama promises to be the most virulently pro-abortion president in history. Millions more children will be endangered by his radical abortion agenda.

Celebrating his inauguration with "Freedom of Choice" doughnuts – only two days before the anniversary of the Supreme Court decision to decriminalize abortion – is not only extremely tacky, it's disrespectful and insensitive and makes a mockery of a national tragedy.

A misconstrued concept of "choice" has killed over 50 million preborn children since Jan. 22, 1973. Does Krispy Kreme really want their free doughnuts to celebrate this "freedom.""

As of Thursday morning, Communications Director Brian Little could not be reached for comment. We challenge Krispy Kreme doughnuts to reaffirm their commitment to true freedom – to the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness – and to separate themselves and their doughnuts from our great American shame."

American Life League was cofounded in 1979 by Judie Brown. It is the largest grassroots Catholic pro-life organization in the United States and is committed to the protection of all innocent human beings from the moment of creation to natural death.

For more information or press inquiries, please contact Katie Walker at 540.659.4942.

*******

ABORTION DONUTS? Seriously? The nation just CHOSE its new elected leader and Ms Judie Brown is calling them ABORTION DONUTS?!? Words cannot express my dismay. Oh and this doesn't help: http://network.nationalpost.com/np/blogs/fullcomment/archive/2009/01/19/pro-life-1-krispy-kreme-0.aspx

Here's the full text:

MEDIA RELEASEFOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
18 January 2009
CONTACT: Katie Walker540.659.4942
kwalker@all.org
KRISPY KREME CORRECTS 'FREEDOM OF CHOICE' FAUX PAS
Washington, D.C. (18 January 2009) –

In light of a nationwide marketing trend to capitalize on the inauguration of President-elect Barack Obama, American Life League challenged Krispy Kreme Doughnuts, Inc. Thursday on the propriety of using the phrase "freedom of choice" in their corporate announcement regarding a free doughnut giveaway on Jan. 20 - Inauguration Day. Subsequently on Friday, Krispy Kreme updated the announcement. The following is a statement from Judie Brown, President of American Life League:

"We are grateful to Krispy Kreme executives who realized the inappropriate use of the phrase "freedom of choice" and have changed their announcement, available on their web site.

"Barack Obama is one of the most radical pro-abortion politicians ever elected president. Even though Obama claims he is not pro-abortion, but rather "pro-choice," his record speaks for itself. Obama received millions of dollars from the "freedom-of-choice" abortion industry because he swore that as one of his first acts as president, he would sign the Freedom of Choice Act, a legislative proposal that would wipe out a litany of incrementalist pro-life legislation with one stroke of his pen.

"The use of the phrase "freedom of choice" by any corporation, particularly when used to coincide with President-elect Obama's inauguration, is offensive and demeaning to the millions who have suffered either directly or indirectly through abortion. Abortion is a tragedy for everyone involved in it. Thus we felt obligated to issue our original statement and subsequently communicate with Krispy Kreme Inc.

"American Life League thanks Krispy Kreme for correcting their public statement. Their corporate decision was not only wise but will result, we are certain, with an increased number of customers not only on January 20th but for years to come."

American Life League was cofounded in 1979 by Judie Brown. It is the largest grassroots Catholic pro-life organization in the United States and is committed to the protection of all innocent human beings from the moment of creation to natural death. For more information or press inquiries, please contact Katie Walker at 540.659.4942.

*******

NO! NO! NO! YOU DO NOT CAVE TO IDIOCY! You do NOT legitimize stupidity by caving to their demands! I love Krispy Kreme donuts, they're amazingly good, but DAMMIT! A new president was chosen and it was through the freedom of elective choice that Barack Obama was elected the new President of the United States. How is this even remotely related to that wonderful tenderly soft donut? HOW DARE THE RADICAL RIGHT WING AGENDA HIJACK SUCH AN INNOCENT SUGARY TREAT?!?

"Abortion is a tragedy for everyone involved in it." NO! This senseless betrayal of logic and free speech by the American Life League and the spineless lack of sensibilities of Krispy Kreme to not stand their ground on this issue has hurt not only my soul but my sweet tooth.

Don't even get me started that the RIGHT TO CHOOSE is not the same as PRO-ABORTION. People who are PRO-ABORTION will just have arbitrary abortions because they think it's fun. The RIGHT TO CHOOSE is giving someone the option of choosing whether or not they can have an abortion. You can CHOOSE NOT TO. Sheesh.

Krispy Kreme celebrating the FREEDOM OF CHOICE is in no way even connected to abortions. I would like the freedom to choose between a tasty glazed donut or perhaps one with a jelly filling. I would like the freedom to choose between Barack Obama and John McCain. I would like the freedom to choose between calling the American Life League and yelling at them or just e-mailing them my outrage.

In fact, I think everyone needs to deluge the American Life League and ask, "What's YOUR Deal?!?" Go forth and fight for the rights of those poor defenseless donuts! Because I'm sure a pro-abortion donut can also be a sweet sweeeeet tasty treat. Mmmmm... donut.

EDITED TO ADD:
So... are the jelly ones extra abortiony?

Sunday, January 18, 2009

There's hope for the world? NO WAY!

I know everyone here usually expects me to go on a tirade ranting and raving about the newest things that pisses me off... which is fine because that is actually the premise of What's YOUR Deal?!? In fact, the enormous number of responses to my last blog nearly brought a tear to my eye. Why? Because it makes me realize that people ARE reading the words that I type... and people ARE thinking about the things they are reading. Even if I stop the stupidization of just ONE person per week... I am doing the world an enormous favor. We look at the world today and realize that there is SO much that's completely and utterly jacked up... and people never really stop to think, "WTF mate? How did we get here?" People live their lives with blinders on... completely and utterly focused on their own selfish wants and needs and their own closed-minded ideologies. What's wrong with looking at someone you completely disagree with and listening to them without judgment? You just might learn something new. People don't like taking criticism. If you throw your opinions out into the public forum, expect people to tell you you're wrong. If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen. This is why I love writing my rants. Instead of letting these thoughts fester in my head and be wasted, I want to do my part to try to better the world one rant at a time. And I absolutely welcome all comers to try and knock me of this soapbox. I thank all of you.

Anyways, the topic for the week is hope. Just when it seems like I have given up hope for humanity, something happens that's totally unexpected and, quite frankly, surprising. All of you know my ongoing fist-shaking war against the airline industry... but this past week when US Airways flight 1549 crashed into the Hudson River in New York, I was floored by how it all went down. This one event gave me a very unexpected shove towards the edge of my soapbox.

For those not familiar with the story, Flight 1549 took off from LaGuardia in New York heading to Charlotte, NC and hit a flock of geese which essentially destroyed both of the Airbus A320's engines. Freaky scary? I think so. The pilot, former Air Force pilot, Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger managed to glide the plane, with it's 150 passengers and 5 crewmembers, away from populated areas and into the best possible place to crash a jetliner: the Hudson River. The only injury was a woman that had two broken legs. Heck, if I survived being in a plane falling from the sky? I'd be kosher with that. Although, here's my cynicism coming out again: I predict that woman (or perhaps any other passenger on that flight) will sue US Airways. Let's see if I'm right.

I digress. When the plane set down in the river... people came to the rescue. Little ferryboats came rushing to the crashed plane and started evacuating passengers. People disembarked that sinking plane with seeming more order than the rabid rush of idiocy that most other flights disembark. Wow. People weren't shirking their responsibilities as human beings to come to the rescue of those in need with stupid excuses like, "Oh, the plane is too far, someone else will do it," or "Oh that's not my job." Can you imagine what it would be like if the people at the scene were like that? You know, the retards that don't return their shopping carts or set good example for their kids... those "fucktards" that inhibit the forward progress of humanity? But no... this is why I'm surprised. That people will go out of their way in that scenario, but yet don't have the common decency to do the little things in life. This confuses me.

Because all I can think is... what if the plane was full of black people and those ferries were full of members of the KKK... would the same thing happen? Or what if the plane was full of gay people and the ferries had members of the Westboro Baptist Church? Or the plane was full of Bloods and the ferries full of Crips? Al-Qaeda and the Bush Administration? Israelis and Palestinians? Seriously. We can do the entire gamut of groups that hate each other. Would the same shining examples of humanitarian effort be seen? I'd like to think the answer is yes, but... I'm not so sure.

I really want to believe that what happened in the aftermath of Flight 1549 going down is the norm... but even if it isn't... it's really nice to see the goodness of humanity when it does happen in today's crazy mixed up world. Likewise, I see the same hope and inspiration coming on Tuesday when President-Elect Barack Obama is sworn into office. Optimism feels weird.

SIDENOTE: http://www.zazzle.com/docpoonie Check it out. If you like my blogs... show your support and spread the word. Do your part to save the economy one superfluous purchase at a time. :)

Mini-Update and Please Buy Some T-Shirts...

I did not anticipate the deluge of responses to my last rant from people on Facebook. Here is the link to my Facebook page and all the lovely people that threw in their 2 cents (or perhaps more...):

http://www.facebook.com/notes.php?id=32804611#/note.php?note_id=44090583649&id=32804611&index=0

All I got from that conversation was: SPANK THE PARENTS!!!

And, due to some suggestions from friends, I have now made a couple of t-shirts for consumer consumption. Show your support for What's YOUR Deal?!? by wearing a What's YOUR Deal?!? shirt or perhaps your righteous indignation by sporting the newest catchphrase of this blog: SPANK THE PARENTS!!!

Here's the link! Save the economy, make superfluous purchases (there's even a t-shirt that says so)!

http://www.zazzle.com/docpoonie

Sunday, January 11, 2009

I offer a solution to stupidity....

Before I start going off on my newest tangent, allow me to thank the people that have left comments on my last rant. It is nice to know that I can incite responses out of the people on the interweb. While I was tempted to jump into the conversation, I felt that I made my point already and it is up to you, my tiny handful of readers, to discuss amongst yourselves the validity of my words.

Now... on to this week's topic. I would be failing in my moral obligation as a human being if I didn't try to at least offer up solutions to the problems I see with society. Anyone can get on their soap box to complain about anything and everything... it's actually quite cathartic and fun. But, one needs to do two more things in addition to just point out societal falacies: (1) don't be stupid too and (2) offer up a solution. If everyone just did one little thing everyday to not be stupid, the world would be a better place, there would be one less Tubberina wedged into an airline seat, one less shopping cart in the middle of the parking lot, or one less piece of idiocy hindering the forward progress of humanity. But... today's topic is going to be more broader based than just one relatively inconsequential annoyance, but something more important in the grand scheme of things in the effort to find a solution to the stupidization of our planet. And no, I am not suggesting a "final solution" for stupid people (although the thought has crossed my mind, but I'm not that tacky). The solution is simple: children.

Children? Yes, kids. Specifically your kids. I briefly touched on this topic last week when I mentioned setting a better example for your kids but I think this merits more than just a side mention. I think the general consensus among a lot of old fogeys is that, "Those young whippersnappers! They don't ___ like we used to!" You know it's true. You heard it growing up and I know for a fact you think it everytime you see a specimen of Airheadimus High Schoolerius or if you just happened to turn on the TV to see an episode of MTV's The Real World. What's happened? Were we really this stupid? I refuse to believe that because I see some kids today that are honestly cool and good. They're not shopping at Sluts 'R Us or see people like Paris Hilton as role models. Kids don't want to be doctors or lawyers... they want to be reality TV stars. WTF?

Maybe it's parents wanting their kids to be just like them... which I believe is THE. MOST. RETARDED. THING. you can do to your kid. Parents have it all wrong. You don't want your kids to be just like you because they won't. And even if they are, they'll just be a lesser version of you because you're you and there can't be two of you (unless you get yourself cloned, which I BEG OF YOU NOT TO). Kids should be BETTER than what their parents are not limited to what they're parents are. Unless the child is the genetic spawn of Superman and Wonder Woman, then it'd be rather difficult, but still possible. If that's the goal, to be better than the previous generation, then humanity wouldn't be nearly as messed up. Parents want to isolate their kids from the "evils of society" and germs and vaccinations. NO! You are not an island unto to yourself and neither are your children. They are expected to interact with everyone and unless you want to keep them living in your house for the rest of their lives, they shouldn't be babied. How can we expect people to learn and grow if we limit their interactions to only things our parents approve of? Society is not evil, it's just dumb and annoyingly idiotic and you're not helping. If everyone was as shut in as that, we'd all be inbred people afraid of anyone of a different race, gender, and sexual orientation (oh, that's happening... I know you see it too). And on a side note, if some super strain of Polio or Measles comes back to infect our planet, I hope you health nuts with your anti-bacterial goop die first. Sheesh, I remember daring my friends to eat dirt, worms, and glue when I was a kid... I think they turned out alright... Anyways...

On the opposite end of the spectrum, but still stemming from the babification of youth, you see kids out and about being loud and obnoxious... as if for some strange inexplicable reason we should be compelled to pay attention to them and their "totally like drama like filled like lives!" No. That starts when they're little and they can kick and scream and make a scene to get what they want. The world doesn't work that way and kids needs to know that. What ever happened to a spanking? I'm not talking child abuse, but spanking. You're not beating your child to a pulp, but you're setting an immediate punishment for their idiocy. But... I say we take that one step further. Instead of watching a child act out or hearing stupid conversations from people that have the unfortunate affliction of lack of volume control, we need to step in. No, we shouldn't spank people we think deserve it (wow, that's bad...) but we need to intervene. Not to intervene as to stop a spanking or to judge the parent for the way they are disciplining their child, but to make fun of the child for their actions that led to the public humiliation. Just a simple, "Wow, you're the dumbest kid in this mall," should suffice.

While that can be considered mean, it is utterly necessary. Kids are growing up like divas that should be catered to. That is not the case. Nobody is that special. People can't leave their kids for minutes without them acting out. That is not right. Parents, you need to spank your kids especially in public and everyone else around needs to point and laugh at the kid. The kid will know immediately that their stupid tantrum won't work and the rest of the world thinks he or she is retarded (and not in the good clinical way). We need to set a standard for behavior that resonates. Stupidity is worthy of being publically mocked and derided. Once a child figures that out, they'll know not to be stupid in public. They're going to grow up knowing that their actions affect everyone else and everyone else has the right to make fun of them for it.

Stupity is an inbred characteristic (take that as you will). If humanity has a hope of moving forward to a better place for everyone, then it needs to stop stupid before it happens and it starts with the next generation. Forward progess starts now.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Need a resolution... here's a suggestion!

It's time again for yet another righteously indignant rant to kick off the new year with. Most people struggle to find a New Year's Resolution this time of year and many that do will eventually forget what they resolved to do and spiral further into the cycle of pitifulness that plagued them the year before. Don't take that as an insult. I do the same thing. However... I offer this suggestion to all of my perhaps 2 readers (Tell more people about me... sheesh!) out there: Shopping carts.

Shopping carts, you ask? Yes. Shopping carts. How many times were we told as kids by our parents to put our toys away when we're done with them? How many of you have kids or interact with kids on a daily basis and know the irritation you feel when you step on or trip over a toy that's just lying around? Starting to see my point now? People leave their shopping carts all over parking lots when there are obviously places to return them. But now, instead of tripping over toys with our feet, shopping carts run into cars. What's a stubbed toe in comparison to scratched paint and dents on our vehicles? Why can't people just walk the extra 10 feet or so to the nearest shopping cart return area and put their cart away? It drives me INSANE to see a mother with a litter of children just leave her shopping cart randomly in the middle of the parking lot, when you know full well that when she gets home she's pissed at her kids for leaving their toys out. How is that for being a hypocrite?

People want to save the world, lose half their body weight, or whatever unobtainable goal for the new year. Why don't you try taking baby steps towards that and just walk the little bit extra to return your cart... you'll save cars from dents and dings, you'll probably work off some of your lard, and you'll set a good example for people around you.

But... while on the topic of shopping carts, why are people retarded with them? It's obvious that the homeless has mastered the art of shopping cart maneuvering because they're not annoying with their carts... unlike the retards that populate the aisles of grocery stores. Stop parking your cart in the middle of aisles when stopped. There really isn't all what much room there, between your cart and your Royal Rotundness. And don't park on the opposite side of the aisle where you're grabbing things, so I have to harness some NFL running back-caliber cuts and jukes in order to get around you. It's really not that hard. How would you like it if I parked my car right in front of your door, completely inhibiting your ability to get anywhere?

So... shopping carts. I hope everyone resolves to be less stupid with their shopping carts. Don't be an impediment to the forward progress of humanity. Have a happy new year everyone.